Looking for others experiences talking to loved ones about your mental health?

[Jack2021]

Hi guys,

I've been a part of these forums for a few days now, but I feel already its making a huge difference in my management and recovery of severe depression, stress and anxiety.

Without rambling or going in depth of my own issues which isn't my aim of this thread I guess, I was wondering what opinions, advice, and/or experience all of you have had in regards to talking to friends, family, and loved ones about your mental health?

For me, even though I have suffered from depression about 6 months now, it has been very slow and gradual, however becoming quite severe and debilitating since around Xmas and new years of 2020/2021, lots of feelings of hopelessness, lots of sadness, lots of tears, no suicidal thoughts thankfully, but just a general lack of desire and passion to live life.

My parents, 2 close friends, and wonderful girlfriend of 6 months are really the only people who have known about it, though since last week I am trying to get as much help and support as I can from others, with my counselling finally resuming next week, and enrolling myself in a online mental health well being program that is set to start this week hopefully.

One of my recent major concerns is with my girlfriend, I have the closest relationship with her than anyone else, and trust her the most, therefore I share a lot of my troubles with her, which I am so worried about, as I don't want it to be pulling her down or worsening her mood, as I have already seen it happen twice the past 2 weeks, when I was dealing with very severe anxiety and depression and breaking down quite a lot, it did affect her wellbeing seeing me like that

As a result of this, as much as I'd love her support, I think I'm better off not telling her so much and instead talking to my counsellor and the forums here, as much as It pains me to do so...she is the most wonderful girl and is so supportive and mentally strong, but I can see it is affecting her talking about and trying to help with my issues...

Have other people been in similar situations here? I have tried looking for other threads with this sort of topic, but came up with nothing, would love to hear from you guys 😊

[sunnyl20]

Hey Jack,

I hear you. It can be really disheartening when you are putting in the effort and trying to make changes but still feeling stuck with not much if any progress.

I’m really sorry to hear that things are still feeling really difficult, and that your counselling session was not what you’d hoped. Do you think it was more difficult because it had been such a long time between sessions, that maybe you’d lost momentum? Do you feel like you can trust the counsellor? Do you feel comfortable with them and do you feel that they listen to what you say?

It’s really positive you’ve been able to scope out jobs and even apply - good on you.

Take care.

[Guest_4643]

Hey Jack.

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling, we're here for you. Good luck with the job applications. Sorry your counselling didn't go well.

[Jack2021]

Thanks sunny, 😊
yeah super disheartening to say the least...

I'm not quite sure to be honest, I felt it was a lot of the things you mentioned and a bit more actually, I felt like I'd lost a lot of momentum and progress ( not that I thought I'd made much back when I was counselling last year anyway) and yeah found it a bit tricky feeling a connection / trusting my counsellor after so long.... I felt like they sort of listened to what I had to say, but they didn't really help, or give any helpful advice on what to say, the only "advice" given was for me to do something that would absolutely crush me and destroy my entire world... emotionally speaking...

Thanks very much, I appreciate that, it's a small small step in the right direction I guess, but with very limited job ads I'm applying for, it's very tricky getting a response as well...at least I can apparently volunteer in that industry first, but much rather be getting paid for it I guess ...

Thanks sunny 😊

[Jack2021]

Thanks mb, I appreciate it 😊
thank you for that as well, trying my best I guess

Yeah it was pretty disappointing how badly it went to be honest, I was hoping to really open up, be trusting, and find some sort of connection, and as well work on my communication issues and stuff like that, but in reality, nope.....almost felt like I was talking to a different person ( even though it was the same counsellor Its always seen) so yeah......not quite sure if it's the best thing for me to go back really....

[Guest_4643]

You don't have to go back if you don't feel like it, you have the right to change & say something if you're unhappy. I've complained about people in the MH field before, had many traumatic experiences. I no longer see Psychologists because of this & I can't find any.

[Jack2021]

Hmmm yeah that's what I'm thinking about, I mean I am tempted to go back for next session (in another week I think it is) and see how it is again...if no good, yeah, might ask for a "pause/ break in counselling"...cause the money side of it is making me worry a tiny bit too, not working at the moment so yeahhh....

Damn that sucks, sorry to hear :(
so far I haven't had anything really "bad" apart from this session, but yeah...had plenty of bad experiences with people in general, and i guess psychologists and people working in the field are still well...people...

Not sure if this is the right place to ask, but how would you go about getting a different psychologist?? One of my very unhelpful gp's at the local clinic told me basically not to bother (when I was in a very bad place a couple of weeks ago) because apparently I'd need to get a new mhcp and new referral, etc, etc

Only thing I can think of is to contact a few clinics I know of and enquire first before getting the re-referral...does this sound about right??

[Guest_4643]

If you wish to take a break/can't afford it or look for someone else, that's perfectly fine. You should get a MHCP so it's on Medicare so it's bulk billed.

You would usually ask a GP if they know Psychologists and get them to refer you, otherwise you can find a company/Psychologist and tell the GP and get them to refer you there.

If I can offer any advice, it would be do your research - read their qualifications, what they specialise in, their treatment, if they bulk bill, etc. Trust me it helps.

Good luck.

[Jack2021]

Ahhhh so does that mean I have to go back to the GP, and ask for a new mhcp??

I Already have one, but it's been referred to the counsellor I am currently seeing

To be honest, another equally un-useful gp, (the one who wrote me my original mhcp) their way of trying to refer me to a good psychologist, was by bringing up Google maps on their computer....lol

Hmmmm yeah that's what I'm thinking...I mean even if I have to pay for a session out of pocket, it might be worth it seeing if they're good or not, rather than bouncing to and from GP's for new referalls every time...at least that's what I understood....

Thanks mb 😊

[Guest_4643]

I think you can still use your current MHCP, just change the Psychologists' details, it would still have your name, reason for referral etc on it. The GP should be able to change it for you, instead of getting a new one, you can just explain to them why you want to change.

Wow that's stupid about the GP, I'm sorry. Mine doesn't know any around here. Every place I've emailed won't help & take new patients. I went to Headspace & had a very traumatic experience with the Manager, Psychologist & Group members, so I complained & the Manager lost her job. Now I found out that she's working as a MH Nurse at one of the Psychologists' so I won't be going there, ugh.

Yeah a MHCP is much better, & cheaper.

[Jack2021]

Ahhh I see I see...sounds a bit easier I guess, though at the same time sounds like I still have to see my GP anyway 😱😂

Yeah a bit strange..but ah well...I'm used to having to do my own research on things, but still was surprised the GP didn't have a few good psychologist's in mind, or even an approved list...they just looked on Google maps lol

Damn that sucks that you can't find any ones that can help or take new patients, sorry to hear :(
Damn that sucks too...darn

Oooh yes cheaper for sure 😱😂

Still not sure what I want to do yet exactly...maybe I should email the psychology clinic I know about and see what their costs are and specialise in, etc, etc