Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Long distance relationship

Community Member
Used to travel regularly to see my gf (fiancce) until coronavirus grounded us for two years, finally got to travel December 2021 spent 3 months with her got married January had to return for work been waiting 5 months for her tourist visa. Tried everything to help the process but nothing is helping ,starting to loose hope
5 Replies 5

Community Member

Hi RusD,

thank you for posting here.

when I first met my husband, we got engaged 3 months later. He is from O/S and I’m local. Mine was arranged marrriage so long story short, I got to know him for a short time, and flew to his country for the official legal marriage at the registry in May. In the same year, his father passed away and then my mum passed away. It is customary for our religion to mourn for 1 year so that means no weddings, or celebrations of any kind. So we waited for a year. Ten once the mourning period finished, I flew back to his country and got married the traditional way. I returned back to Australia and then he followed 6 months later so in total 1.5 years of living apart.

it was hard and as I was still getting to know him, I thought I was the ultimate trophy. 9 years later, it was all fake. Now I know my husband better. He is a narcissistic prick. The marriage is based on a lie and is all fake. He gave me a false future. I don’t have any personal growth in those 9 years. I worked and sacrificed my uni time and worked to save money for a house, car and now we have all those things. But all in this empty of house without any love or emotional support, sexual intimacy, ie sex anorexia. Now I know better.

I hope that the person whom you are waiting for is worth all your efforts and sacrifice.



Community Member
Sorry to hear about ur bad luck, guess u have to just take what u get with arranged marriage, sounds like u are making the best of a bad situation. We love each other very much but australian government is making it impossible to be together. After 40 years of paying taxes in Australia maybe it's time to sell up go to a family friendly country

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Rus,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums and thank you for being open here. It sounds like you and your partner are going through a difficult time at the moment. It sounds like you are feeling helpless and losing hope.

My advice is to not lose hope, keep trying and eventually, something good will happen. Keep fighting for your relationship.

Stay safe and i am always here to chat.

Hi there RusD!

Thank you for joining us in the forum community! We are grateful you can be here.

What an incredibly distressing and frustrating situation to be in for such a long period of time! We can't begin to imagine how the loneliness must feel right now. We do hope that at the very least you have some supportive friends and family with you.

We saw so many relationship stories like yours play out during the period of CoVID, and there was such distress for so many - it is sorrowful to hear that this distress is ongoing even now. We wanted to ask, RusD, if there was any possibility of advocacy from Dept of Foreign Affairs, or the Federal Ombudsman?

We do hope you will continue to reach out here, and that a solution can be forthcoming soon. In the meantime, please feel free to talk to us anytime on 1300 22 4636. Please also consider reaching out to  some of the relationship hotlines here, and remember to talk to your GP.

Thank you again for being with us, RusD - please reach out anytime.


Sophie M.

Community Member
Thanks I will contact federal ombudsman tomorrow