living alone

[Guest_1584]

Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ?

No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all.

l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs now since splitting with ex w. My daughter use to stay a lot but not much these days, 16, bf and friends over in her town, 20mins away . Also had a friend staying over a lot for awhile or me her place, separate rooms just friends. Then met my gf, together nearly two but 70% long distance,talking 24 7 non the mess but still mostly living alone. That ahsn't worked out and, still living alone.

It's the first time really since late teens and what a time of life for it to come along. l'm just wondering? l'm afraid l just can't get use to it or like it . Although times it's good also , like coming home tired, kick back for the night do your thing, watch what you want or sleep all day or listen to whatever you please as loud as you want day or night, no one else to worry about or please. It can be nice when the wk end rolls round too in ways , same reasons.

But , l still have a lot of trouble with it , don't think l'll ever get use to it. Even though there were plenty of times married would've given anything for this kinda freedom sometimes.

This house is pretty big , to me too big for one, one and a bit if my d stays. Not really into friends hangin round too often , assuming l had a few anyways, new town. But l think a smaller house would help , dunno how some people especially rich people live in monster mansions alone. l've even thought of sharing , got a spare room, it'd help the finances too. But tbh , getting a bit past that with a stranger and it'd cramp my style a bit and spoil the things l do like about this new life alone right now and having all this space to myself.

But over all , l'm really feeling the loneliness. Just don't know what to do about it though, how to deal with it . l feel like l'll get sorta lost in my own non existent world if l'm not careful. l do get out and about quite a bit actually but it's usually alone too. l've always enjoyed alone time even as a kid but l seem to have lost that these days and l find it's really taking it's toll on spirits and like life is passing by.

[Guest_1643]

hi rx a lot of ppl have told me to get a pet during lockdown but there was no way.... financially i wasn't up for it. i would want to know i could afford to take the pet to the vet for instance athough i guess you do find a way if it's important.

i love full answers and discussions here.... it's so nice and usually at the end of the answer a person finds an answer themselves... not sure if that's happened to u but that's my experience. Just writing out the words makes me jump to a start and realise what i need in the moment.

Sounds hard and confusing with girlfriend with many factors. Always tricky isn't it.... the things we want and need are never easy. Do u think an easier relationship is preferable? I'm not even sure. Sometmes easy-mode can be very numbing, boring and empty, and challenging relationships teach us a lot.
glad that girlfriend is feeling much calmer and happier. Hope she's okay

[Guest_1584]

Hey sleepy . lt's hard to imagine there are people issues for you , u always have such a calm about u yourself here . And thx for the gf thing yeah , quietly hoping.

Thing for me is l've had a heaven and tho hell last 6 -7 yrs , hence me here or seeing counselors and like. yaknow , normally there's an issue or two in life you might talk over with someone u know, or think through, but l've been blessed with 20 at once lucky me , and biggies, and depression thrown in for good measure. But yeah l'll go in circles if l have to but l find the same and answers will come from them , or a peace,or knowing.

Funny your right about expense with pets too. Even back when l'd have a dog , every 5mins , more food or shots or some damn thing.Food alone and just the feeding them is a lot of cost and time.Keeping them safe or out of trouble , walking them ,even just one dog , it's amazing .'

Do you like birds , canaries or budgies ,they're fantastic pets and really easy n cheap to look after. Great fun round the house too.

Take care eh. rx

[Guest_1584]

Unfortunately as predicated and it's something l would def' prefer being wrong about too butttttt. Back one wk from the sons and she's as ratty as again already and coming out with all sorts of stupid things and negatives . Of course l couldn't blame her she's been grilled all wk , but it;s the negatives and silly things l can't deal with anymore. lsn't the power of words from someone you care for just incredible , they can make or brake.

Anyway , l'm resuming our break, l need a well over due rest and to get my head straight on everything again.

rx

[Guest_1643]

hey rx

i can understand ur frustration and confusion over this.

I hope u get to have a break for urself and that u feel much better soon about it all

I've never had a bird and I wander if I would like them. I imagine that if I like most animals, i'd also like birds!

Good idea!!

I am generally a pretty calm person 🙂 i don't know how I picked up that trait, my family is full of hotheads, but I've been told many times that I have a calm aura - thank u for giving me a little thing to feel good about 🙂

How are u doing?

[Guest_1584]

Thanks sleepy.

God l dunno , l do know is l've had enough right now though. l know what she's going through obviously but you know, sometimes a person can have too much support and it goes to their head but anyway , l'm staying out for awhile, l l have to for me and for her.

Haaa pleasure you deserve it. My families full of hot heads too , l grew so damn defensive , l realized that later , l'm still trying to shake it. Hot head families don't seem to be able to accept the calm one , they seem to think the only way in life is theirs and to live life like a loaded gun 24 7 always ready. But there are many other ways to handle life hey. And imo they work much better than the loaded gun ways anyway.

[Guest_1584]

l realizing l may've just wasted 5 yrs of my life ib a certain area/way , and it ain't getting longer either.

This will all sound like malarkey to most people passing l'm well aware of that and that's ok it's just meant as in getting it off my chest bc there's no where or one else l can do it, it's a little out of the realm for most.

The cards are still reading the same, same thing over 4yrs now . This has never ever happened before not in a life time of using them. As l said you don't go jumping off cliffs or giving money away just bc the cards might tell you to, or live by them or anything like that although some people do . And l normally only use them for work matters and that's been coming through just this last few wks again and looks ok but it's not that. But they've mainly been shown a very serious matter in love, consistently for over 4yrs and it's very very strong and as l said , something running over 4yrs all up , has never ever happened.

l could just ignore it and don't really have a choice anyway , it's just that l can't read in just who it's about and l have a serious decision to makeover the next few wks in that department and they're saying something very very strongly, about someone, but who. Gf and l are having a break and the way l';m feeling right now that could well go on to be permanent..

With some time to myself l''m just realizing just how damn draining it's all been and what it's been taking out of me rather than adding to my life, that as well as some personal things with it all l won't go into but l'm starting to feel l may not want to return to it.

[Guest_1584]

oops, brushed the old post button before l finished.

Thing is , if they're talking about gf , then it's a very very bad decision in leaving it. As l was saying you don't go making serious decision on the cards, but 4yrs of this is a bit hard to ignore. There's only one person l know of experienced enough to decipher what they're saying and who it's about , but she's back in the UK now and we've lost touch. My daughter may be able too , she's going to give me a read tomorrow. l even joined a Tart forum the biggest l could find , but with 20,000 members could even find anyone real, they just use books , couldn't believe it.

l don't know if they're talking about gf , or ex , bc it started when l met ex. But we couldn't work out , although if l were single l wouldn't say that was over and out none the less it could well be back. Maybe that's where l'm meant to be and what they're talking about, maybe we could work it out now - or maybe they're talking about gf .

gf would be a gorgeous wife accept she's got sooooo many issues , hence this break and consideration. Any man would have to seriously think about whether or not to take her on believe me which is something l'm really feeling now stepping away for awhile. Maybe they fix up , and she sorts her head out , in which case you could not do better but l just can't see it ever happening.

God almighty, think l'll just stay single haha. rx.

[Guest_1584]

Ex had stuff too , pretty big stuff enough to split us up.

But if it is about her, maybe she's sorted it out these days , l don't know. Pretty well clutching straws just trying to figure things out. l know anyone reading will think wth they're only cards but nope not in this case, l wish. lf it was about anything else l'd just forget it but 4 yrs of love and 4yrs of women dramas , nearly 5 , well , you know.

rx

[Guest_1584]

l don't think it is about ex, l just couldn't see that starting again. What l'm hoping is with just stepping away for awhile gf then has the extra head space to be able cope with her legals better. Maybe all the heavy stuff finally even just gets done and it's down to just waiting for the hearings. She could find her level again if only all that would just stop and be done and she can just steady up again and have room for us.

You couldn't find better when she's her old self and l don't wanna close that door just yet.

As for the cards , l think l'll burn the damn deck haha. Done. Did that once before but the new deck just started reading all the same stuff again. l know , sounds like crazy shyt , ah well.

rx

[CMF]

Hey rx

Wow...interesting. I think stepping back is right, for both of you. Are you in contact with the ex at all?

Take care

Cmf x