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living alone

Guest_1584
Community Member

Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ?

No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all.

l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs now since splitting with ex w. My daughter use to stay a lot but not much these days, 16, bf and friends over in her town, 20mins away . Also had a friend staying over a lot for awhile or me her place, separate rooms just friends. Then met my gf, together nearly two but 70% long distance,talking 24 7 non the mess but still mostly living alone. That ahsn't worked out and, still living alone.

It's the first time really since late teens and what a time of life for it to come along. l'm just wondering? l'm afraid l just can't get use to it or like it . Although times it's good also , like coming home tired, kick back for the night do your thing, watch what you want or sleep all day or listen to whatever you please as loud as you want day or night, no one else to worry about or please. It can be nice when the wk end rolls round too in ways , same reasons.

But , l still have a lot of trouble with it , don't think l'll ever get use to it. Even though there were plenty of times married would've given anything for this kinda freedom sometimes.

This house is pretty big , to me too big for one, one and a bit if my d stays. Not really into friends hangin round too often , assuming l had a few anyways, new town. But l think a smaller house would help , dunno how some people especially rich people live in monster mansions alone. l've even thought of sharing , got a spare room, it'd help the finances too. But tbh , getting a bit past that with a stranger and it'd cramp my style a bit and spoil the things l do like about this new life alone right now and having all this space to myself.

But over all , l'm really feeling the loneliness. Just don't know what to do about it though, how to deal with it . l feel like l'll get sorta lost in my own non existent world if l'm not careful. l do get out and about quite a bit actually but it's usually alone too. l've always enjoyed alone time even as a kid but l seem to have lost that these days and l find it's really taking it's toll on spirits and like life is passing by.

 

741 Replies 741

Thanks very much for the thoughts , and l'm sorry things didn't work out for you two. But yeah being happy , for yourself , and for her , is a nice peace and it's nice to know you've found and allowed that. Of course l want happiness for her , no matter what , and especially peace , it's been a long time. And of course for myself too.

Can l ask why were you apart and for how long before your conclusion ?

But yeah, it's been looked at from every angle either of us could possible for us both and then some , we've had no choice. And within hmmm, your not kidding well actually more so from a feel within as lve said l will usually feel things and have all my life.This however, it's not clear. l know why but l can't change it and so for the first time l can't call on the one thing that's never let me down that's just swirling unfortunately.

ln all honesty though , it's pretty cut and dry. She has her situation and which we're atm still unsure of when it will be resolved nor of the outcome . lt's all about that and in simple terms, to wait , or not to wait , and for how long ? l need this in black and white mentally for myself unfortunately buttttt, working on it.

Hi jt . lt hasn't been very long for you man, time is your friend, your doing just fine. The house is ready huh , wow , nice my friend congratulations , exited ? 50 50 bc of the circumstances, l know, but hey, try for 70 30 eh.

Mine ahh, bit of a way to go l'm afraid, end of yr early next. So busy l haven't even had time to finish off some rather big jobs as yet, fences, paths, few other things. But they'll be on the move soon hopefully.

rx

Unfortunately , things aren't good for gf atm,and l think it's pretty clear time l made a decision about things.

Through no fault of your own no one will really be able to quite grasp where she's at except maybe em , bc unless you've been through something like all this and know all the details , well.

But mores been happening and she's just not doing well at all. There's just no way she can cope with anything us right now or the foreseeable for now. Things will likely get worse to come and she'll have all she can cope with and then some . That's not coming from her it's from me and her frame just lately now .

l can see now it's best l just stay out of the way and get on with life. Unfortunately l can't help and us even quietly in the background supporting is just not fair to burden her with any further atm bc it's not helping it's just leaving her riddled with guilts. On top of everything else and that's the last thing l want for her or that she needs right now.

l'm still thinking it through but almost resigned to the idea . Maybe in the future , don't know , but unfortunately l do know l won't be able to count on it any time soon now for sure.

rx

Hey RX

always good to see you 'on the air' posting 👍

I hope you have been doing okay...so...whats on for the weekend?

Paul

Hi Paul

Thanks for that , thought you'd try changing the subject eh, probably as gooda idea as any haha.

Not much my friend , been a pretty stressy wk though , how about you ? l'll probably work a few hrs Sat, exiting l know, and bum around home the rest.

rx

hey mate

no...not really..just saying hello... I havent read anything above my post to you...just been looking after my 91 year old mum at her house and trying to deal with my anti-vaxer sister who is the main carer ....ugh

I havent been on here anywhere as much as I used to RX....just been really tired....and then some

Might put on a good action/thriller tomorrow and crank up the dolby digital ✔

Paul

Haaa no worries at all mate.

But yeah it's very hard with elderly parents isn't it, hope your coping ok. l know what you mean l just can't be bothered with anything much either once the suns down lately.

A good movie sounds the go anyway, hard to top that.

rx

Heya rx,

Stopping by to say hi. I feel the best kind of love we can give someone, is the love where we can let go of someone because we wish the very best for them. It is bitter sweet, and it will certainly hurt to do so, but it is as you informed me before (which I'm very grateful of); It wouldn't hurt if the both of you weren't truly in love.

Jt

Hi jt , and thanks for dropping in and the support, always appreciated. Have you got a thread or ?

Anyway yeah , l just think it'd be best for her atm and it'll enable me psychologically to at least know where l'm at too and get on with things. lt doesn't have to be the end if her cases work out , so who knows later.

How are you doin ?

rx

Heya Rx, 

I'm doing good so far. Been looking at some home deco / smart home solution for my new place. Have all these ideas I want to put in, but when I look at my account, I laughed and said to myself "Don't go buying them all at once, one step at a time, savor it". But yeah, life goes on. Thank you for asking 🙂

Nah I don't have an active thread that I post on frequently. I only have one that I posted long ago to share my break up experience, that's about it. It's now in the forums somewhere for those who have encountered a similar experience to relate to. You doing alright buddy?

Jt

Man that is great news about your place , congrats eh , here's to the future. lt may well be me next yr too although l won't go into that one atm, too much to do as yet.

50 50 my friend thanks . Things are feeling very twilight zone'ish tbh. Been a very big few days here very busy but still , in the back of my mind l've still managed to be still hearing some words gf said last wk which was last we spoke. They were what actually pretty well made my mind up and the decision for me tbh. And so a little sad for sure.

l dunno , when she said them , it wasn't meant to effect me or said in that way , l don't think she'd even realized what they meant to me , but it was like at that minute something snapped in my mind and as if it was just time. Because of those words , it's only been a wk or so still , that's the longest we've ever not spoken actually but , it kind of feels final , at least for now anyway. And although we never actually talked about it, l think we both felt it , or she felt what l was thinking you would say and so she hasn't been in touch nor me, as if we both know. Pretty sad stuff and l hope she's ok , but it's best l just leave it alone for now.

rx