Just finished cancer treatment and almost miss the hospital because my father is abusive and my personality has disaprred PLEASE HELP

anonymousteen4life · ‎18-08-2020

Hello, all I know my issue might not be the most pressing of all as a lot of you may be having suicidal thoughts etc. and I hope you get better and know there is someone out there for you and so much more in life. Also please ignore my terrible grammar and spelling I've always struggled with English.

10 months ago I was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer, Hodgkins Lymphoma and that was a battle and I'm cured now and trying to move on with life but I've seen some serious changes in my personality. I've always struggled with my relationship with my parents especially with my father he has been very harsh on me growing up. Examples are siding with my sister and not letting me even speak as it is disrespect, I don't really want to go into detail because I get to upset thinking about it. But my mom is helping meditate and fix that relationship so that should be good. But because of my 6 months of pretty much not having to do anything but sleep I've lost my work ethic and drive and I seem to get up every morning for nothing, I use video games as a escape which doesn't help, since I'm doing to advanced learning subjects and am falling behind on all my classes. If someone could so kindly give some advice on what I should do on getting my old self back and being able to be as eager as I once was and try to enjoy life a bit more.

-Thank you

romantic_thi3f · ‎19-08-2020

Hi anonymousteen4life,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for being here.

First up, and most importantly - your pain and your story matters just as much as everyone else's. When I read your post I feel for you in the same way that I read a post from someone else about suicidal thoughts. If you can take anything away from this post let it be validation that your pain and your experiences are important too.

Am I right in understanding that the way you think about your personality changed because you were at home for 6 months battling with cancer? So everything about your life was forced to stop, or pause?

I don't know how to get your old self back, but part of me wonders if you can ever do that - everyone changes after experiences like these, whether it be cancer treatment, or health issues. What might your new self look like though? What would your days look like if you were enjoying life more?

There's so many questions here and you don't have to answer them, but maybe thinking about what's ideal next can help let go of how frustrating it can be to not be your old self anymore.

rt

anonymousteen4life · ‎19-08-2020

Thank you, it's just I'm lost right now and I don't feel the same I used to be so much more motivated and eager for life. Now I'm just trying to get that back and I'm not sure how. The reason I talked about my family is that I can't find any support there. I understand how it could change me but it's really damaging now as my future is looking worse as I can't pull it together

anonymousteen4life · ‎19-08-2020

also sorry this was probably the wrong place to post this. It's my first time on the forum and I'm not so good at explaing my issues and where to post

romantic_thi3f · ‎20-08-2020

Hi anonymousteen4life,

It's good to hear back from you. No worries about posting in the wrong place - we have some wonderful people behind the scenes who can shuffle your post/s if they need to. Your post is in the right section.

So I guess you don't want to think about your new self yet which is fine - what was your old self like? What would your old self like your new self to do?

That's okay that you mentioned your family. I saw that you didn't really want to talk about it so I left it. It's really hard not having some family support - I'm curious though who else is there in your life whether that's friends, hospital workers, doctors or therapists.

rt