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It has all come to an end...

blossom4298
Community Member
A week ago my husband told me that he no longer wanted a relationship with me. He had just come back after being on a job for 8 weeks. We have two beautiful children ages one and four my only concern is for them as I felt that our relationship was heading to an end ...didn't think it would actually happen but boy was I wrong. At first he moved into the backroom which we both found really hard so today we both agreed that it would be best if he moved out. So he decided to start straight away and didn't come home till later that night once the kids were asleep to get his clothes etc. I moved out with my husband when we were 18 (now 34) and haven't been on my own since... so now what do I do that I have a house and two kids to look after all by myself. I also have a 10 year struggle with depression, is much better now but obviously with this new venture I am very concern with loosing my shit completely.
3 Replies 3

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Blossom, welcome.

Firstly, meet with or discuss with your husband, child support arrangements. Child support will encourage you to mediate financially with him but mist people can't,won't do this.

Consider your living financial costs to evaluate if you can afford to reside in your home. Seek out a family solicitor in regard to this.

Stay as strong as you can fir your children. Seek friends or this forum gir support through hurdles.

Try,try,try to stay friendly with hubby. Child visiting arrangements of worked out well with both of you WILL benefit you and make the kids happier.

Tony WK

blondguy
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Blossom4298

you would be feeling at your lowest right now. Im sorry for what you and your children are going through. Tony has excellent advice above so I wont repeat it.

Can I ask you if you have even a tiny support network of friends that you can turn to now?

I do know that there are heaps of mums/parents on the forums that are going through the same as you blossom

The forums are rock solid secure for your privacy as well as being a Judgement Free Zone too

16 years is a long time blossom. If I may ask you, have you spoken to your husband since he left? You have also had depression for 10 years too blossom...Your plate is very full. I have had anxiety/depression for many years as well as a relationship vaporizing 2 years ago...

You are not alone blossom, I hope you can post back, we are here for you if you choose to respond.

my kind thoughts for you and your children

Paulx

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hi Blossom, it saddens me to read your comment, but understand that a situation like this can easily happen.
Whether your husband works FIFO where this time he has been away for 8 weeks does make a marriage become awkward, as it does become unsettled, because when he does return you both have to reacquainted once again, because a lot can happen in 8 weeks.
At the moment he has not given you a reason why except for saying that he 'no longer wanted to be in this relationship', although that may eventuate over time, but you realised that this was going to happen.
I'm not sure whether he has been to see his doctor yet which is what would be advisable, however that's a decision he will have to decide on for himself, but now that your role as a mother has now increased can I suggest that you go and see your doctor, which in fact you maybe doing already.
There is a lot that has to be discussed between the two you, and I would imagine that finances would certainly be the first item that has to be sorted out, then I would try and get him to say why this has happened where I could mention numerous questions but that's not up to me to decide on.
If you both feel as though your marriage could be saved, or whether tor not that's what you both want then marriage counselling would be good, plus I would also suggest counselling by yourself, where your doctor can put you on a mental health plan which entitles you to 10 free visits to see a psychologist.
Your job as a mother with 2 children who are only young will not be easy as they start to grow to an age where they become demanding just like all young children.
Do you have your parents who could help you out, or even a close friend, because even though you love them so much it does become very tiring, as I have a daughter in law with 2 young children aged 2 and 4 and know how tired she gets.
Would love to hear back from you. Geoff. x