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Is emotional infidelity real?

Wilhelmina_Spankbottom
Community Member
I have been married for nearly 20 years. About half that time my husband and I have not been intimate for unknown reasons to me. The past 6 months have seen my husband be-friend a family friend who has been going through a tough time. I was never included in conversations between the two of them and she would text him at all hours of the night and day. She wanted to move in so he said yes. Asked me after the fact. She would come home each night, give a big greeting and hug to my husband and children and would barely say hello to me. It got to the stage where I would see that he was enjoying her company alot more than mine, not necessarily attracted to her though (even though it had been years since he gave me a "you look nice". It was usually "i find you ugly and unattractive". I would go to bed leaving them to watch tv, say goodnight to my husband, and he wouldn't even stop watching tv to look at me and say goodnight. She has since moved out but they still text all the time but he hides it from me because he knows i don't like it. He has now kicked me out of the house as well. He tells me it's all in my head. Am I being childish to want a married relationship like most people enjoy? Where I can have a husband who openly shows he loves me? Because for many years I have felt this "love" thing is all a big con-job! Someone, please help me. I have no-one I can talk to.
11 Replies 11

Juliet_84
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
Wilhelmena, I'm so sorry that you are going through this and your husband has made you feel this way. At the very least, home should be a safe happy environment that you can come home too, not somewhere that you are disrespected in a daily basis by someone who is supposed to love and care for you. He has shown you a total lack of respect, and when that is the case, I always find the best revenge is living well - start looking after you, doing small things that you like to do purely for you, don't give people who are unworthy the satisfaction of having power over you. I hope you can find some inner strength and find that woman you were before you were robbed of your self-confidence, you deserve it x

I just want to say "thank you" to everyone who has taken the time to help me through this. I am crying as I type this, because (sadly) I have never had so much support and acceptance without being judged or emotionally abused.

Thank you.