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Insane sister tearing my family apart

Community Member

Hi beyondblue

My sister is currently trying to tear my family apart. Some backstory, around 5 years ago she met a boy who became her boyfriend, I didn't like the guy as I could see he was trouble. The two have been constantly lying and stealing from my parents since they met, they constantly ask my dad for money (who of course gives it to them) and never make an effort to repay him. Ever since my sister met this boy she has been insane, she actively looks for things to argue about and she thinks she is entitled to everything, one common phrase when she is arguing is "everybody hates me, you never say nice things about me" stuff like that, for a few months I would come home to my sister and my mum arguing over tiny things that my sister deemed worthy to argue over, one argument that I remember was that my mum said good morning to me and not my sister.

So 6 months ago there was a particularly bad argument, I can't remember what it was over but it ended with the boyfriend strangling my mum, the police got involved and my mum decided to not press charges and the boyfriend got away with a slap on the wrist and a stern talking to by the police.

3 Days ago was another bad argument, I dont know how it started but I came out of my room to defuse the situation and tell her to go back to her home, which somehow made it worse. She threw an empty weatbix box at me and then she charged my mum, I could see from the look in her eyes that she wanted to hurt my mother, so I grabbed her arm and put her to the ground, not in a very violent way I believe more in defence of my mum. I let her go and she ran into the kitchen and said she was going to kill herself then and there, at which point I barricaded myself in my room and called the police, who came and took her to the hospital for an evaluation.


Fast forward to last night and I find out from my dad who still talks to her that she wants to take out an DVO order on me and my mother, I don't understand why and I can't see it having any legal footing. But I am scared for my life, she has shown herself to be very unpredictable in the past and her boyfriend has many violent tendencies to I am worried they will try and harm or even try and kill me and my mother, either by coming into the house or burning it down. I don't know what to do, she is completely irrational and won't listen to anyone, not even her grandmother who is becoming increasingly worried. What should I do?

1 Reply 1

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome

Thats a pretty disruptive home atm. I can see why you are desperate to find a solution.

What you should do is always have your mobile phone handy and ring the police if a situation erupts with violence. Yelling hoeever is not violence. Either that or you let your parents handle the situation

By involving yourself you could be adding to the complexity. I should mention that "charging at" someone isnt necessarily assault but grabbing her arm and putting her on the ground is assault. It is commendable you went to your mums rescue but please be careful, police can charge you.

As I said, you think you are doing the right thing but at times it can backfire.

As for a DVO if that happens you will be provided with an opportunity to respond in writing before a magistrate will or will not allow it. Write down the facts now for safekeeping. It could also be a threat. I wouldnt worry to much.

Try relying on your parents more to deal with her. Its their responsibility.