I've virtually no friends left
I've been wanting to explain my situation for a while now but I haven't found the opportunity to. I just really want to get it off my chest
Earlier this year i was pretty good friend wise but my small group began to fall apart after a key member found new friends and left. I was getting frustrated and in an effort to prove to myself that my 'friends' still cared I left our groupchat and waited to see how long it would take for them to notice. They never did. At this point I didn't really have anyone and I felt so alone. I tried going back to the friends I had before I joined the group but no one was interested in welcoming me. Then after a month my girlfriend got into an altercation with the key figure I mentioned before which resulted in that person badmouthing me and my girlfriend to every possible person I could have built a friendship with and blocking me after I tried to resolve things.
It's bad enough that I'm cut off socially from everyone outside of school but everyone insists on acting like nothing is wrong inside of school. I'm starting year 11 next year and my only hope is that maybe I can make new friends in my ATAR classes or I'll have to wait it out for two years until uni.
I'm not completely without relationships, I have my girlfriend who is going through the same thing I am, but there's only so far one person can get you, socially wise. I feel especially bad for my parents who have no idea what's going on and are constantly worried about me but I feel as though I can't tell them anything.
So now I feel alone and incredibly isolated. This is now hitting hardest during the Christmas holidays (even just normal school holidays in general) and I feel trapped and I'm so painfully aware that no one actually wants to be my friend.
Welcome to Beyond Blue and well done for reaching out.
I am sorry to hear of what has happened with your friends. It's an awful experience when people seem to 'turn away' from us, to find other adventures and other people to hang out with.
I have found in my life that friendships, and even intimate relationships, are, or can be, a bit like the seasons, in that seasons change, just like people do. In fact there's a little poem about the seasons of relationships, which I have found to be quite comforting at times like these;
Also, you say that your parents 'have no idea what's going on and are constantly worried about me but I feel as though I can't tell them anything' ........ perhaps you could tell them that there are things you would like to talk to them about but are finding it hard, so therefore maybe you could show them your post above? I find that writing things down and then sharing the writing is like a 'buffer' and therefore makes it that bit easier to share with someone else who is close to me. Do you think that is something you could consider doing?
You mentioned that you do still have your girlfriend, which is great, and I hope a wonderful support to you. Perhaps you could ask her to be with you when you talk to your parents. And if not them, maybe a teacher or some other relative? Perhaps there is also a school counselor you could talk to, yeah?
Anyway, I hope that helps at least a little? Feel free to come back here as much as you like. We're here for you and with you, and BB is 'open' 24/7, pretty much!
Take care. I'll be thinking of you. xo