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I think my Dad has been cheating for a long time in the past, should I confront him about it?

redpanda13
Community Member
So back when I was a kid, I'm 25 now. I use to often hear my dad talk to another person on the phone in another language in a super flirtatious manner. I couldn't understand that language so I didn't know what he was talking about, but every time he talked like that, my mum wouldn't be around. I was just a kid back then so I didn't think too much about it, just thought it was weird.
Also when I was a kid back then, I remember one time my mum was making a huge fuss about seeing my dad's phone over some matters but didn't know what matter that was, possibly about his "cheating". Then shortly after, I remember my dad went on a solo trip to Taiwan which was super out of the blue. But then again I was still a kid, so didn't think too much about it.
Fast forward till I'm around 23, I remember we went on a family road trip. That time, I basically forgot about those incidents as I haven't heard him speak on the phone so flirtatiously in a long time, or maybe I've just been so busy with my own life, I haven't heard him. Then one day on the trip, the rest of my family was downstairs and I heard my dad go upstairs and start to talk in that flirtatious tone again. After that moment, it started to really hit me, maybe he has been cheating this whole time.
The thing is, I'm still not 100% sure he is cheating, my instincts just tell me he is. These days, I've been so busy with work and my own life so I haven't caught him with those phone calls. At home these days, he acts normal and my mom still seems to like him. He doesn't come home late or go on weird overnight trips.
There's always this uneasy feeling inside me about this, so I don't know if I should confront him about these past scenarios or just let it go. He's an ok dad overall. I also feel like my mom is already considered a pretty nosy person, so as if she doesn't know what's been up this whole time?
Any advice or comments are appreciated.
10 Replies 10

Positive_vibes89
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Redpanda13,

As a person who has experienced a parental divorce because my dad did cheat on my mum, I feel your emotional uncertainty. My best advice to you is to try and keep out of your parents issues. Unfortunately for me I was dragged into my parents messy divorce because my dad told me he was cheating on my mum. I had to hold that horrible secret while I watched mum turn into a emotional mess wondering why dad had left her. It affected my mental health really badly because it shouldn't have been up to me to tell mum that dad was cheating on her. That was my dads responsibility.

You are their child and you don't need to be involved with all this. I think you shouldn't say anything to your mum. Its best that children keep out if marital affairs as much as possible.

You're only just making an assumption. If you dont look after yourself, this can really have a toll on you personally. Until this is all confirmed, I would just go on with things as normal. I wish you all the best and take care