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I'm not sure what to do anymore

Community Member


I have been married for 12 years and I don't think I can do this anymore. My husband is selfish, controlling and I feel like nothing I do is ever good enough or the way he thinks I should live my life.

He recently swore and yelled at me in front of my daughter's friends and I haven't wanted to really much to do with him since that night. When we got home he kept calling me derogatory words. Then the entire weekend I felt like a prisoner in my own home. He wouldn't let me leave the house with our kids and when we tried to go out he jumped in the car at the last minute. He demands they spend time with him even if they don't want to and accuses me of isolating him.

He went and stayed with his parents for 2 nights and both me and my kids felt relief and freedom. Then he just turned up saying he needs to see his kids so he's staying. In the time he was gone I was beginning to feel normal but now it's back to feeling scared and alone and crying.

I'm tired of feeling like this. I just feel so alone and scared and confused and I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know who to go to for help. I don't know if I can get help. All I know is that I just don't want to do this anymore. I can't do this anymore.

I'm sorry if I shouldn't be posting this here. I don't know where else there is.

2 Replies 2

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Rachylou,

Welcome to the forums.

It sounds like you are in a really tough spot at the moment. If you are unhappy in your relationship then it's good that you have made the decision to leave.

Don't feel bad or guilty for taking some time to get your plan in place before you leave. It is sometimes better to have everything sorted so you don't have to go back.

Do you have family or friends that can help you organise a new place to live? If not, Anglicare is a great start. You will also need to speak to Centrelink and if you think your partner will become violent or aggressive you might want to speak to the police too.

You can also contact the Womens Legal Services in your state and talk to them about your options.

There is help out there. This forum is a great place to get some places to start. The most important thing is that you and your children are safe.

Kind thoughts, Jess

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Rachylou,

Welcome to the forums. Thank you for being here and reaching out. I cannot thank you enough for this; as someone who has been abused, it can be the hardest thing to do. But you deserve better and you're absolutely welcome to post here.

You can get help too. I'm not sure what your support network is like (friends, family) but I strongly encourage you to reach out to them and to let them know what's going on.

There are lots of different ways for people to support you and help you stay safe.

One resource that I want to recommend you check out is 1800RESPECT or here - https://www.1800respect.org.au/help-and-support/telephone-and-online-counselling/

They have a 24 hour hotline - 1800 RESPECT as well as a free online live chat (also 24/7). They can help you through everything - from talking about what's going on and helping you feel less alone to more practical things like linking you in with resources and helping you find and take the next step.

I hope this is helpful, take care.