I feel so alone :(
Hello, my name is Jane. I'm 47 years old, married (17 years) with a 12 year old son.
Life throughout my 47 years has been far from happy and pain free. I have lived with a rare skin disorder since birth, have been severely bullied throughout my school years, been physically abused by my father and have a strained relationship with my sister. I have gone through life with struggle after struggle. In 2014, I had a major emotional breakdown after being let off from my job that I loved and had dedicated 14 years of my life to. Since then, I have struggled with life as I know it.
I have never had too many friends however, the handful of friends I do have, all live a far distance away from me so I don't get to see them. Since I married in Oct 2003, my life had improved slightly. The first two years were amazing and happy, then all of a sudden, things came crashing down majorly.
My husband has always had issues with his heart however, in 2018 he was diagnosed with having end stage heart failure. The last 2 years have been the worst years EVER for my family! As a result, my son has major behavioural issues because of his fathers illness and has been violent toward me on several occasions. Even the job I currently have (which I love) is at risk because of all the issues I have in my personal life. I'm really scared that history is going to repeat itself and I will lose this job as well.
I feel really alone and am struggling to cope with life. I would appreciate if anyone would like to be my friend, because I really need one right now!
Welcome to the forums..
Im really deeply sorry that your struggling so much..and also for your hubby and his diagnosis..my heart goes out to you lovely lady..
Is it possible to talk to your manager and let him know your fears about your job?...
Janey...I’m wondering if you could speak to your Dr..and talk to them about how your feeling..They can help you...maybe by some councilling for both you and your son..Even if your son is struggling with his fathers health..it’s still no excuse to be violent towards you..maybe he needs professional help to help him try and understand his emotions he is feeling at this time...
Its hard and lonely nursing a loved one, when they have been diagnosed terminal..I nursed my hubby and felt so very alone..Sweetheart your not alone anymore..I would be honoured to be your friend and try to help you through this sad and lonely journey your on.,,,
Please dear Janey..your important..and it’s important that you go gentle on yourself and look after both your land mental health...
Talk here anytime you feel to..I’ll be listening ascwill many others..and I’m sure that more amazing people in this community will call in for time to time to chat with you and help you as much as they can...
Sending my love and some warm caring hugs...💜🤗..
Jane, don't lose hope you know what they say what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. You are a strong women look at what you have overcome already. Have you spoken to a good GP and perhaps get some counselling that can help more than you realize. Its so hard with a sick husband you must be so worried and your son is playing up a bit because he scared of everything going on. If your son has not had any counselling maybe that could help. In my past I have been to hell and back not thinking or wanting to make it back but I did and am stronger for it. Do you have any youth services in your area as they could be of benefit to your son. I also know you feel you have to stay strong for your husband and child but you need some time for you even if its sitting in a quiet room with a nice candle or treating yourself to a massage or something. Please don't lose faith it wont always be this hard. Ring and talk to your good friends they will know you best and you will feel better for talking to them. You are doing the right thing here and asking for support. I do wish you all the best, you are amazing and don't forget it.
Sending hugs to you.