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I don't know what I'm doing

Community Member
I just need to talk to someone that doesn't know me. This year has been utter shit for me. I was in my last semester of uni when my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer so I took a leave of absence to become her carer. She doesn't have long according to the doctors and I feel completely isolated and alone in looking after her. Add to that Melbourne lockdown and it's hard to see that there will be brighter days. I have a history of severe anxiety and depression and while I think I'm semi ok now, I worry that I will break at some point. I have been questioning all my relationships and if I really, genuinely have a connection with anyone. In saying that, I don't want to be around anyone. People annoy me. I dunno, I just need to hear someone else is going through this or something.
4 Replies 4

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Heya Lisa,

A warm welcome to the forums. Sorry to hear about what's happening to you. I can see you're having a hard time, and there's a lot happening to you and it's overwhelming you. I agree with you as well that the Melbourne lockdown (also, lockdown in the other states), have made a lot of people's lives much harder.

May I suggest giving the Beyond Blue Hotline a call on 1300 22 4636? They are available 24/7, and if you talk them through about what you're going through at the moment, they'll be able to assist you. Also, I'm happy to listen to you more if you feel like chatting more as well. You're not alone Lisa.


Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Lisa Lionheart,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for deciding to join us. I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through- my heart hurts thinking about what it must be like; hard enough being in lockdown, let alone having a mum who is unwell.

I can relate to questioning relationships; and I think for me when I'm having a tough time, I either feel like I don't matter too much, or I have a push/pull because I need them and don't want to be a burden. What's it like for you? Who do you have around you that you can talk to?

I hope you'll find some people here who can relate, but I also found some online forums at the Cancer Council too- they've got a section just for friends, family and carers so I'll link to that below. Maybe that could be a place to go to find people who are going through something similar


I hope this helps a little; be kind to yourself.


Community Member

Hi Lisa Lionheart so sorry to hear of your situation - I lost my Mum to cancer and did my best to look after her and what you are going through is just so hard but please dont be hard on yourself allow yourself a bit of slack you are doing your best in an extremely difficult stiuation - be kind to yourself - Mums are so precious leave no love unshared- say it all while you have her-

I also have a history of Anxiety and a difficulty in relating to others - never could find anyone who truly understood me - I only found out by going to a psychologist for a while that I have an introverted personality and that made me feel soooo much happier with myself - I am OK just as I am and I dont have to try and change to meet others expectations

Happy to chat if you want


Community Member

Hi Lisa,

I'm going through a different but similar struggle right now. I don't have the added emotional grief you have of caring for someone sick but I too am feeling very lost and down lately.

I guess it may be a combination for me of being up to lockdown number 7 (regional Vic) and also not feeling that connected in my relationship or to anyone really

Lately I think not being able to plan or look forward to anything due to COVID is adding to the pressure.

And being home with someone day in and day out who though a lovely person isn't my soul mate and doesn't bring me joy

Lately I've been getting so angry so easily over the smallest things. Im constantly on edge.

But I want to feel better and do find moments of where I do feel good. Usually on a sunny day when I appreciate nature.

are you able to get out into the garden or go for a walk somewhere lovely to break up lockdown and caring for your Mum?