How do I deal ....

[Belbanana]

Hi,

I’ve never posted on a forum about my problems so bare with me. My parent is diagnosed with ptsd, anxiety and depression. He is on medication however he is non-complient. It’s really starting to affect myself and mother. The littlest things triggers him which really sets him off. Later he will act like everything is fine and nothing happened. It’s a perpetual cycle as it’s happened before. I’ve told them that I want to discuss this with his GP and or his psychiatrist however, he thinks that it’s no use as he thinks he’s ‘fine’. Which leaves me so angry and frustrated. Also he has gone through a non-compliance stage before so it’s nothing new.

I guess I’m posting on here to see if anyone else has had this struggle or what I should do. I try not to get so angered about it but sometimes I have to walk away when I do.

Thanks in advance for any advice and for listening to my rant. I do feel a little better now that I’ve shared that even if it is with a internet stranger.

[PamelaR]

Hello Belbanana

Sounds like life is rather difficult for you at the moment. By the way you are not ranting at all. It's good you've found your way here to Beyond Blue (BB) forums as people here are very friendly, supportive, caring and respect your privacy.

Both my parents had PTSD, one from the war and the other from family trauma (don't know what it was). To be honest, it was like living in a hen house walking on egg shells all the time. One or the other was anxious, depressed, angry or downright obnoxious. Having said that I turned out okay so there must have been some really nice stuff happening there. I also have PTSD...... I can almost laugh now, however, it isn't funny and it's hard to live with, however, I have improved with age.

How does this help you? I guess I'm just letting you know you are not alone out there. Some of the people who participate in the forum have experienced what you are currently going through. I expect there will be others who'll pop in here to give your their experience and suggestions.

From how I look at what you've written, there are 3 specifics that need considerations - 1) your health, welfare and safety, 2) your mother's health, welfare and safety and 3) your father's health, welfare and safety.

Here I'll probably focus on you,as you posted, though I may touch on your parents.

Basically, I think you're absolutely right, talking to your GP (his GP too?) is a starting point. You may find your doctor will focus on you. But that's okay, because you are also affected by how he behaves.

Understanding and managing someone with PTSD (like myself) can be difficult for others, especially those who we love and those who love us. I have not been the best person in the world to live with because of my PTSD, interestingly, my husband has stuck by me through 36 years. I've been mean sometimes, especially the day after our wedding. I'll never forget how I ranted, raved and cursed.

I don't know the cause of your parent's PTSD, and it's not necessary for me to know. I just need to let you know I agree with you wanting to talk with the GP. Go for it. Maybe, the GP might also think you will benefit from a visit to a counsellor/psychologist and put you on a Mental Health Plan (MHP). This involves 10 visits to a bulk billed therapist for a 12 month period. Your mother would also be available to access such a service. I'd also suggest she too visit the GP to talk about how she is managing through these outbursts.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[geoff]

Hi Belbanana, it's good that you have found this forum and to post your first comment isn't particularly easy, as there maybe times when you may edit it, change it or even delete it, because you're afraid of what people may say back to you, but this is a friendly site, where all of us have been through our own type of depression.

When he says 'he's fine' may mean that he's in denial, I was the same, and the more my family kept pushing me to get help the harder it was for them.

I had to decide myself, so it's like an alcoholic has to make sure that they want to stop drinking, they can't be pushed.

With me, something happened which made me wake up and realise that I needed to see my GP, the same might happen with your parent.

This puts a lot of pressure on yourself, so what you can do is see your GP so that you can learn to get stronger, find ways on how to talk with him and how to respond or maybe click onto 'Get Support' and scroll down until you see 'Publications to download', there is a great deal of information which might help you.

Best Regards.

Geoff.