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How can they move on so fast

Tinalea20
Community Member

It’s been 3 and a half mths since we broke up from a 4 yr relationship, I have just found out he is talking to other women. I can’t even look at another man. I’m heart is broken, but suppose you don’t ask questions if you might not like that answer. I’m having trouble dealing with this, how can he move on so fast.

12 Replies 12

Hey TinaLea20,

One day at a time is a good way to go at the moment. One foot in front of the other. Try to do something nice for yourself in each of those days - something you used to enjoy when you were not feeling down - something that will make you smile, or feel good, even if it's just for a moment. Those moments build and then eventually you start feeling better for more of each day. Then, you start feeling yourself more open to opportunities. It takes time to recover.

One of the things I learned in this process is that you cannot control the way others feel or choose to behave and you just have to accept that and focus on the things you can control - the way you respond, behave, think, etc. His ability to move on quickly is out of your control, your ability to move past this is within your control. So yes, your feelings are hurt (and understandably so) and it may take longer for you to start feeling better because of the depth of your emotions.

'No contact' was also one of the things that worked for me as it just allows you to put some distance between the two of you and the situation. It is hard to do. Is this something you think might help? - that way if you don't know what he is doing, you are less hurt by it in the short term.

Hope this helps.

WF

Thank you for your reply, I understand completely what your saying, I’m better off not knowing what’s going on. Your responses help me heaps.

Hello Tinalea, WF is right 'the less you know the better', if you go searching then you may find something that will disappoint you and remember he will lose out when he knows how well you're doing, that's a reason to settle who gets what.

Best wishes.

Geoff.