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High School Reunion

Community Member

Hi wonderful souls,

I am reaching out to you all in need of some perspective and guildance.

I graduated high school 10 years ago and my reunion is on the 14th Oct. For the past couple of months leading up to this I have felt like a total failure. I have a nice life and have achieved some great things but I wished I had done more.

I was very happy and enjoying my life up until a few months ago when I started realising now fast the last 10 years have gone and how much more I still wanted to achieve.

Although I have decided not to go to my reunion because of these unhappy feelings I am still finding myself feeling worse the closer the date gets. It's like a deadline in my mind.

Any assistance or understanding would be appreciated. I feel so silly for being so upset over literally just another day on the calander but I also know this is something that I need to feel and properly work though.

Much love, Hippie Girl ✌

7 Replies 7

Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Hippie Girl~

I'd like to welcome you here to the forum. From your post I'm guessing you are a bit under 30 years old (please excuse me if I'm wrong)

High school reunions are famous for being troublesome. Part of course is they are a reminder of time passing, part the worry of being compared unfavorably with former classmates, either by others or by oneself. Then again sometimes here is the possibility of coming up against those one really does not want to ever see again for any one of a number of reasons.

Of course once the reunion comes to your notice it's impossible to put the genie back in the bottle. All those thoughts of time passing, comparisons and achievements stay in one's mind. In some ways reunions are similar to social media, with many attempting to put forth an unrealistic and self-applauding impression.

You have not yet lived half your expected lifespan and many would hold you are coming into the period of greatest productivity, having built up a set of foundations to progress from, made up of experiences and accomplishments to date.

You are most likely wise in not attending, though you might have been surprised how unfavorably many's lives will stack up in comparison to yours.

When young we all have plans and expectations. As a kid they are mostly thoughtless and aimed at the glamorous without real understanding. On leaving high-school ambition is more sensible, but often still not completely realistic, as there is no life experience to temper such plans.

Now you have some life experience so it is probably a good time to sort out the merely hopeful aims from the practical and look at your life with a more down-to-earth eye.

With that reunion date can you organize some other event for that day to supersede it's footprint in your thinking? Anything from career counseling to the theater, I've no idea, you might.


Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Hippie Girl

Welcome to the forums and good on you for having the courage to post too!

Anticipating an upcoming date can sometimes be an anxious time. You are spot on about how fast 10 years can fly by...It doesnt take long at all.....It can feel the same as 10 days!

I hope that you arent being too hard on yourself as you are still only 10 years out of being in year 12. Even if you have friends/acquaintances in year 12 its still not super urgent that you attend as people will always remember you for the kind and special person you are.

Its still 9 days until the reunion Hippie Girl. In the long term your peace of mind is more important than a reunion.

That said... maybe it may help if you see how you feel the day prior to the reunion and then see how you feel?

Making your mind up now is just as beneficial to your peace of mind too if you dont want to go as then its over with and you can make contact with any person you wish prior to or after the event.

I am sorry that you feel like a failure Hippie Girl. You come across as a proactive person...seriously!

You are not silly in any way. If you are uncomfortable attending it is your choice not to do so as an individual.I have lost track of the various events that I have not attended as I just place my well being first

If you wish to talk about your feelings you are more than welcome to do so. There are many super gentle people on the forums that can be here for you Hippie Girl 🙂

My kindest thoughts


Absolutely hate high school reunions. Got dragged along/shamed into going to a couple of them. Eventually just said a flat no, when I got invited to one just after my father had died. The past shall remain in the past. If you don't want to go, don't go - it doesn't reflect badly on you.

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hi Hippie Girl, I just wanted to let you know you really don't have to go to this reunion if you don't want to. It says nothing about you, and honestly reunions have such a stigma of being horrible nights anyway. If there is a part of you that wants to go, know that you don't have to stay the whole time. You can definitely just stay for an hour or so and if you feel uncomfortable, you can leave. If you graduated high school when you were 18 that means you must be around 28, and that is still exceptionally young. Just for some perspective, lots of people change careers numerous times in a life time. I think most people change careers about 4 times (I'm 22 and I've already changed it twice). There is no set amount of time you have to reach your goals or to do certain things. It's such a cliche but everyone is moving at their own pace, and just as long as you keep being kind to others you are already way ahead. I will personally be studying at university until I'm 27/28, so it's honestly okay to take your time with these things. You're not a failure and you will get to wherever you need to be and make peace with it.

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hi Hippie Girl, before I say anything there has been some great advice by those above me, and by going is to open many unwanted doors certainly a trigger for you to feel unwell.
It's 4 days away, but those 'friends' who want to prove to everyone how well they have done will dominate all the discussions, so they will make everyone feel as though they haven't been good enough.
Protect yourself and don't go, but never feel ashamed by not going, and if you decide not to go and the 14th comes and you know the reunion is happening, know that you are safe from any comments that people may make against you, because that's what you are frightened of, so go and do something you like to do with your other friends and be safe. Geoff.

Community Member
A phrase I often think of in connection with high school reunions, and the people I'm likely to run to there, is "My best revenge is to live a better life"! The school bullies who gave me a hard time at school went straight to the dole queue, pumping gas, flipping burgers or jail - I went to university and bettered myself. Smug? Not often, but this time yes.

Community Member

Thank you all so very much for taking the time to offer so much support and advice. It has truely made all the difference and has touched my heart.

To answer some of you, yes I am 27. I only went to this particular school for year 11 and 12 so really didn't make too many close connections so don't feel a real urge to go to reconnect.

I am proud of who I am as a person and I know deep down that I am proud of all that I have achieved. I have spoken to some friends in the last few days that have all been in shock that I have felt that in someway I felt like a failure. I am living a very different life now than how I envisioned in high school so I guess my 'failures' aren't really that but different choices I have made. I am an odd ball of such haha and proud of it. I don't want to live life the 'normal' way.

I have taken on so much advice that you have all given me and have decided to fill that day with the things that make me truly happy. Also on a side note I have since found out that out of the 222 people that I graduated with only 24 are attending the reunion.

Much love, Hippie Girl ✌