Help please with first date

[Elsam]

I met a wonderful guy and fell in love with him at first sight when I saw him on an online dating site, I am totally smitten with this man.

Our first date was a dinner date at a beautiful restaurant and after dinner he invited me back to his place.

He got the red wine out and then we became intimate and I spent the night with him.

He sent me a video during the week and we had a couple of messages between us, then stupid me sent this message this afternoon.

Hope you are well
and had a nice weekend...
I can’t help but feel you were trying to tell me something through the Swiss video?
I feel so disappointed, as we had so much in common and could have a great time together.
I think you were great, I respect you and wanted to get to know you as a friend...
Mary xx

I have been having huge anxiety attacks over this, he replied this evening:

Sorry been really busy, and wrapping up things before I leave. No, there wasn't a "hidden" message in the video, I wouldn't do that. Things went very fast during our first rendez-vous and thats unlike me tho!
Hope you had a nice weekend and no Monday Blues today!

How do I reply to this message from him without scaring him off, but at the same time I want to tell him I am attracted to him and would love to see him again.

This whole dating game is new to me as I was married for 25 years

Thank you in advance

[Guest_1584]

Hiya Elsam and geoff.

The thing is with that though Elsam , yeah your right but some people still expect it. l dunno , l felt that damn presumptuous later but it was also the gut feeling and with me that's usually right. l'll never know now though , idiot.

Nice going anyway , l really hope he's into it , if he is then he should make that work.

Gday geoff , mate l think you better start a love life thread beside your home improvement thread , your very good at this stuff . Hope you get involved in others going on when your up to it you'd be a great help .

All the best , and good luck Elsam , keep us posted to eh.

[Elsam]

Hi @Geoff and Randomx

Thank you for your support, you guys are great! Why can’t all guys be like you ? 😂

Yes, I agree Geoff better start a love life forum 😂

I am feeling so damn frustrated with this guy but I want to see him so badly.
I can’t help but feel he is playing games as he only replies when I send a message and he does not have to reply if he doesn’t want to!

Something must be making him reply????

Unless he is just so busy his replies seem a bit blunt to me?

He doesn’t ask how I am when I ask how he is and he doesn’t respond.

He replied and said:

Yes let's find some time before I leave....

He didn’t have to say that so I don’t know if he is genuine or not ???

I then replied with:

How was your day ?
Do you have time over the weekend ?

No response from him when I am being nice ???

Maybe I need to turn into the biggest b in the world 😂

I don’t get this behaviour at all from a 55 yr old guy!!!

If he doesn’t want to see me, I don’t get why he bothers replying at all.....

[Guest_1584]

Ahh Elsam.

A similar thing with my gf that l don't even know is still my gf and future. We're long distance she stays at mine a mth or two at a time. But she has many problems up home, v biggies , and she's a mess. Just saying to cm l feel like l'm getting a slow fade right now yet 2 wks ago she loves me with the love of her son which she's never felt before, 53. We're having a break bc she's in such a state and so stressed up home, but still in touch a little . She's very short though and not herself at all, very different . l'm feeling with her stuff up there she's giving up.

You know the thing though, sleeping together so soon for women this is very very common afterward l'm afraid. Not saying that's it with him , but he's def' not sounding in there . Sorry to say but l think he's just being polite and trying to be the nice guy but it could be fading l'm afraid. Though , l could be wrong , it could be business with him leaving soon on top of the normal work load. l'd be thinking though if he wasn't to make some effort on his own without your prod by the wkend then l wish l could put it another way but l'd say he's on his way out sorry.

rx

[Elsam]

Hi Randomx

I might be winning here, things have improved 😝😝🎉🎉

I honestly think he is just so busy with his work as he is in a very high profile job.

Really hope things work out for you with your gf, specially if she says she loves you. How long have you been together if you don’t mind me asking ?

Yes, agree! Sleeping together so soon is really bad for me because I get emotionally attached straight away.
Plus 2 bottles of Shiraz didn’t help the situation!

He messaged me this afternoon:

Let me check about the weekend.

So I replied:

Would be great to catch up over the weekend if you can....

We have had a couple of other messages back and forth as well

The longer this goes on, I really don’t believe there could be another woman as he is just too busy and is messaging me.

Fingers crossed, I get a nice response to:

It would be great to catch up over the weekend if you can....

As it was only last nIght he said:

Yes let's find some time before I leave....

Hopefully the longer this goes on and I get to see him again, I can hook him 😂🤣

I honestly don’t believe he wouldn’t have invited me back to his house and been intimate if he was not attracted to me....

Could you be intimate with a woman you are not attracted to ???

[geoff]

Hello Elsam, I would be no different, once you are fortunate enough to meet someone and then the possibility of sleeping with them, then you automatically fall in love, you're able to lie in bed, have a laugh together, but especially have a cuddle until you fall asleep, that's magic.

Hello RX, I might think about starting a thread on a topic like this, I wonder what type of reaction I'd get.

My best wishes.

Geoff.

[Guest_1584]

Ah yeah , it is a beautiful thing alright Geoff isn't it. And that thread mightn't be a bad idea you know . And other people could join in and help and give their thoughts on different situations too. l know there's at least a few of us right now going through stuff but there's probably dozens of others.

Hiya Elsam. Yeah of course he found you attractive but there's gotta be much much more to things than just that for it to go anywhere. And l'm hoping for you he sees many more too , lets drink to that eh haha.

Nah l don't think other women are the problem , well it doesn't sound like it , it's probably just the job and busy busy and the going away.

Great you got to chat a bit , hoping the wkend pans out , best of luck hey.

rx

[Guest_3256]

Hi Elsam.

Whoo hoo - you are doing fine - word of advise, don't look into it, let it flow, be your authentic self and just have fun.

Let us know how you go tho, I am sure they feel the same way as you do - ironic.

🙂

[Elsam]

Hi @Geoff, Randomx and Jsua

Thank you for your messages and amazing support, you make me feel so much better and more positive rather than sitting here having massive anxiety attacks over the love of my life.

That feeling of lying in bed cuddling with your partner is the best feeling in the world....

I wish it was true that you automatically fall in love once you have been intimate with a new partner, I know it is true for me as I am totally smitten, head over heels for this guy.

@Geoff, a thread on a topic like mine would be amazing, you are so kind and supportive with great words of encouragement. This thread has helped me immensely rather than sitting here alone freaking out because of my anxiety which then causes paranoia. I would be your number one fan....

@Randomx, I hope he found me attractive, I don’t think he would have invited me back to his place if he didn’t think so.... We are still getting to know each other, we only first started chatting online on the 17th April, then the dinner date which led to the intimacy and 2 bottles of Shiraz 😂🤣, yes let’s drink to that... So we are still really getting to know each other and it is very early days hence why I don’t want to scare him off....

@Jsua, woohoo alright, I am on cloud 9.... I am trying to let it flow and happen naturally and be myself with a bit of cheekiness thrown in for fun.
I hope he feels the same way I do, OMG! I would be more crazy in love with him....

I have been looking for a new job so I used that to get conversation flowing between us and he has been curious and asking me about that which is great.

He sent me a message this morning saying Good luck today!!!

2 hrs later, he then sent an image saying:

Oh! Hello Friday, you Sexy beast 😂😂

I wasn’t sure if he was directing that at me or not or if I am just overthinking it as usual ??? I don’t want to get my hopes up!!

So I replied and said Friday is always sexy 😝💋

Late this afternoon he sent a message asking how I went with the job interview.

So I replied and let him know and then thought I was throw a bit of naughty cheekiness in to see he reaction, so I said:

And it’s not Friday that’s the sexy beast 😂💋

Waiting for his reaction, it doesn’t hurt to spice it up a little to make it more fun....

[geoff]

Hello Elsam, hope all goes well for you as it seems to be.

I'm still thinking about a name for the thread.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Elsam]

@Geoff

Thank you so much, really appreciate your great support!

We have still have some messages and photos going between us to keep the love alive!

I woke up to a message from him this morning: Happy Weekend!!
That just made my day!!

The thing that is bugging me ??

Why would he bother keeping in contact if he is not planning on seeing me again, no benefit really!!

Maybe he doesn’t want to get too involved just before he leaves to go OS...

Just hope he doesn’t forget about me during the time he is away overseas.

I’m sure you will come up with a great name for the thread.
Let me know when you do

Kind regards

M x