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Help me please I don’t know what to do

Community Member

Please help me I don’t know where to turn to.

I have a problem with confrontation and bottle things up. I was told several years ago to write things down as a way to clear my head. This I have been doing with the thought that no one would see it.
unfortunately my husband has found it and read it. There were my feelings in there and also comments about him and consequently the •••• has hit the fan.

He is now dredging up the past and has informed me we are finished and it’s all over.

I have tried to talk to him but he won’t listen to me.

I know I have issues and need help with them. He is hurting so badly all he wants to do is hurt me but there are others that stand to loose a lot if we split up.

i feel dead inside and just want to get away from the world to make it all stop.

please help me

3 Replies 3


Hey Plain Jane 2, welcome to the Beyond Blue forums.     

Thank you for joining us today and having the strength to write your first post. We know it isn't always easy to reach out for help even when we need it. We're so sorry to hear that you and your partner are fighting at the moment. We can imagine having him find your private notebook would've felt very intrusive and upsetting. We also acknowledge how unfair it seems for him to be bringing up your past conflicts. Please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space to talk about your thoughts and feelings, and our wonderful community is here to provide you with as much support, advice and conversation as you need. 

We would recommend that you get in touch with an organisation called Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277. They provide relationship support services for individuals, families and communities and aim to support all people in Australia to achieve positive and respectful relationships. It might be worth finding out what they can offer you.

Please also feel free to contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support but also provide you with advice and referrals for seeing a counsellor in a more ongoing way if this is something you feel would be beneficial.

We've also sent you a private email with other support options.

We hope that you keep checking in to let us know how you're going, whenever you feel up to it. 

Thank you Sophie

I intend contacting relationships Australia tomorrow to try and get some help.
I just feel like I have no where to turn to and I feel all alone. I don’t want my family to get caught in the middle but I guess they are going to.
I am just sitting here and I just don’t know what to do.

Hi Jane

Welcome to Beyond Blue!

Can I start off by saying that in situations like this, things are often said and done in the heat of the moment. Give yourself and your husband some time to heal. When your husband is ready to talk, you will know. In the meantime, just give him some space and stop blaming yourself; you have done nothing wrong.

In regard to your personal diary, your husband should not have read it, plain and simple. We all have private thoughts and feelings that are never pursued or acted upon in real life. A healthy well balanced person can work past these thoughts and feelings, even if they are negative. I suspect this is why you kept the diary in the first place.

When you stop blaming yourself, you will be in a better position to talk to your husband.

I hope I have been of some help!