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i have just found out that i have a baby out there by child support i knew my child was gonna be born soon but didnt relize the ex was that evil that i never even got a message from her . I do have a dvo out on me because of her but it was because her whole family was attacking me from all sides trying to get me to snap ,once the brother told me the sex of my child i lost it and said verbal threats which i didnt mean i have seeked professional help to battle depression and anger but i feel that everything is going through my mind so fast that i havnt time to think i sometimes wish i wouldnt wake up every day but i do i double dose on my meds just to calm myself down not worrying about the circumstances my ex as far as i know doesnt want me to have any part of this childs life as she tryed to put the unborn baby on the davo as well

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Community Member

Dear madhatterteys,

What was the original avo for that your ex organised ?   You sound crazy angry about the situation and finding out the new baby through child support documentation.   Most fathers in your position never pay the child support so you could make good by being responsible instead of playing into the expectations of your ex's family and creating an even worse situation.  Much easier said than done but you are the father.  Period.

Check out 3pm, Channel 10, Judge Judy.  She deals with similar parental problems all the time but sticks up for the estranged father just to give the child a balanced view on things.  Might give you some legal balls.   The baby is born, ofcourse you will have something to do with her/him.   An avo can be reassessed and you can provide evidence of being more stable and less dangerous.  Try a quickie anger management course - probably cheaper than psychotherapy and you'd be in with a bunch of angry men in much the same situation.   I did one for my own avo 6 years ago (when mania took over) and it was really great to work through stuff like that in a group of blokes.   Obviously, some have greater awareness than you but you must connect with something like this if you want to be less of a threat to yourself and your estranged family.

Anger isn't helping.  Double dosing meds isn't helping.  Blaming your ex & family isn't helping.    You can only control yourself.   Learn a few ways to cope better.  Otherwise this situation, with all the "threats I didn't mean" will be used against you when you want to become more sensible and, dare I say, boring.

Good Luck and be a positive part of that baby's life.  The ex is another matter.

Adios, David.

hey david dont i dont tend to lose resposability for the child i want to be a part of its life i am seeking legal advice and hopefully i will get to see my son in the weeks coming money is no important to me having to watch my son grow and give him all the love that i can get is the most full filling thing in my  life that i look forward to my ex is nothing to me my son is everything and one day i hope to be not using medication i am not a voilent person its just the job that i do affects me in alot of ways i work on a kill floor which i do the killing of the animal in some ways affects me mentally but i have had depression all my life and now knowing i have a son at the moment at grasp reach kinda saddens me i blame my self for losing control but talking about helps me alot when i see people actually care out there