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First love

Community Member


I struggle a lot with my mental health, but last year I really hit an all time low. I got with my ex 2 years ago who happened to also be my first love. I had to go back to my home country for a few months so we were long distance for a while and just before I was due back to Australia in September 2019 he broke up with me and said he wanted to be alone and didn’t want the responsibility of someone else. I was distraught and unsure whether to come back or not and it seemed like he was ok to never see me again if I didn’t come back. It’s been 7 months since we broke up and since I’ve been back in Australia and for the first few months I was constantly trying to talk to him and see him but not getting anything from him. He just seemed to be getting on with his life just fine whilst he had completely de-railed mine. I still see him from time to time as he lives with my best friend and her boyfriend (I was suppose to move into their flat when I came back from my country), but every time I see him it just makes me feel sad and reminds me of all the horrible feelings that I felt when he broke up with me. I just constantly have a feeling of not being good enough and having no confidence in myself to find somebody else. My friends tell me I could do so much better than him, but I didn’t want anybody else. Even though I’ve started to try the dating apps, it hurts me so bad to know he may be doing the same and has forgotten about me. I’m really struggling to find a way to forget or get over the whole situation completely and it just makes me sad to think he’s over it already and I never cross his mind anymore.

3 Replies 3

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Sunny2567,

I'm really sorry to hear you have been going through this. It's challenging enough when we run into an ex let alone when they live with our close friends (which means it is inevitable to run into them). I can understand that would be really difficult.

From personal experience I can relate to relationships affecting your self-confidence and self-esteem. For me personally, I had to learn to love myself and be okay on my own. One thing that really worked for me was self-compassion or self-kindness. We don't realise it but we can have a lot of negative self-talk. This was the case for me and I had to really learn how to be gentle and kind to myself. It also helped to find hobbies that I loved and made sure that I saw my friends. After a breakup, my life changed and it needed rebuilding.

Would any of these things potentially work for you?

Thank you for your suggestions missep123, these things would help me I do often talk negatively about myself and it’s a hard thing to stop doing, but I will try my best. I also do really want a hobby to fill my time, it’s just finding which hobby!

Hi Sunny2567!

You are definitely not alone, I often talk negatively about myself but I have been making progress!

What kind of things do you like or interest you 🙂