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Feeling totally Broken

Community Member

I'm not really sure where to start. I've been married for almost 9 years, together for 12.

I guess the entire time we've been together, probably even before my husband has had a binge drinking problem. It's not that he drinks all the time, it's that when he does it's to an excess of no limit, where he ends up vomiting and passing out or if I'm there to stop him, him hurling abuse at me because he thinks he should be able to keep going. The next day he's apologetic, disgraced in himself, but it makes no difference to it stopping. I have tried to work through it with him. Tried asking him to give up all together. Earlier this year it had gotten so bad that I ended up leaving, he made promises to me that he would give up never do it again. 

Fast forward to a few weeks ago and it happened again. This time was the worst. He ended up vomiting in his sleep, and choking on it until I woke him. He wasn't capable of getting to the bathroom and proceeded to sit up and vomit on the floor. 

I'm at my tether, I'm so hurt and betrayed and I don't think I can have that in my life anymore. After lots of talking we have decided that he needs to get better help that isn't just me, but unless that happens we can't continue. He has since moved out to work on himself and give me space, I'm so sad and miserable I don't know how to deal with the hurt. He keeps asking if there's a chance we'll figure things out and all I can focus on is trying to get through this hurt. I'm also afraid that I may never fully trust him again. 

I guess I didn't really have any questions exactly I just needed to get this off my chest and hope that someone might want to listen.

3 Replies 3

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi brokendown

Welcome to BB and sharing your sad story with us.  I also apologise for taking so long to acknowledge your post.

Alcohol abuse can be a sign of underlying issues such as depression or anxiety. Have you or your husband spoken with a GP? If this is the case with your husband, he will continue to need support, and if he is receptive, then I would probably not drift to far away in the relationship.  A break from each other can always help, but knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel is also important.

please reply, if you would like to talk more.  We are always here.

take care


Community Member

Hi BrokenDown I have just joined beyone blue - i too had a hubby that would drink to excess, vomit everywhere, urinate in the walk in robe thinking it was the toilet, he would sometimes drive home, or walk home,  each night i would lay awake wondering if he had walked home and fallen asleep on the highway and in the morning i would find out a truck or something has run him over. During this time i was never allowed to lock the front door - as he wouldn't be able to get the key in the lock - so the stress on me - wondering if a stranger was going to just walk into the house with me and four young kids took it's toll on me.  We seperated some twenty years ago. He's a differant man now.   Sorry i can't help you.    I found > You "Have" to look after yourself > before you can help anyone else. Good Luck


Community Member

Hi Broken,

I'm new here, I've just joined, however I can relate to your post. My Marriage ended due to my dear Husband being an Alcoholic. I hung on in hope however, as I was to learn later on down the track, nothing I  did or said in support could Save him and our Marriage. I decided to seek out a support group and I found one called AL-Anon for Families and friends of Alcoholics. I have found this support group very helpful and friendly. I learnt to understand all the dynamics of the Dis-Ease of Alcoholism. All the best TC