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Feeling pretty confused

Rjade
Community Member

Hi everyone.

I decided to post on this forum because there isn’t really anyone that I can talk to that know me personally and I feel as though speaking to those who don’t know me will help me to get some things off my chest without being ignored.

Two months ago, I got engaged to a man that I love and can see myself having a future with. I’m only 21 and we’ve only been together for just over a year, but a big part of me wants our relationship to work and that’s why I said yes. However, there have been a few doubts that have been creeping up on me recently and I wanted to know if anyone has advice for me as to how I should deal with this situation.

His mother kicked us out nearly a year ago and I truly despise this woman for everything that she has done to us. I haven’t spoken to her since, and vow to keep it this way, but my partner does and acts as if nothing ever happened. As a retaliation, he decides that he wants nothing to do with my family, even though they have always been warm and welcoming to him. I really don’t want to end our relationship but his family don’t like me and that puts a huge amount of stress on me when I realise that our families can never really have a normal family life. I don’t know whether I should end it and just move on, or whether we can reach some sort of compromise.

I suffer badly from depression and anxiety and this relationship certainly increases the negative emotions I experience. I’m on medication to treat my mental illnesses, but our situation is very stressful and uncertain and makes me feel a whole lot worse.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Sometimes I feel as though being with someone else would solve all of my problems, but I do still love him and I’m feeling really conflicted. I guess I just need advice on whether or not I should stay put, or if I’m better off moving on with somebody else, or even just taking some time out for me.

Thanks heaps.

2 Replies 2

jess334
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Rjade,

Welcome to the forum and thanks for posting. It's a great place to chat to different people.

I have been in a similar situation. I was in love with a man and I actually moved to England to be with him. Unfortunately, even though we loved each other, it was really difficult to be in a relationship with him. There were a lot of issues and in the end I realised that I didn't want to deal with those issues for the rest of my life. He refused to work towards resolving them. Leaving him was really hard, but the love I felt did fade and we both recovered.

Now I have a partner who would do anything to support me (including putting up with my huge crazy family). He also accepts me 100% the way I am. There is no way I would accept anything less in a relationship now.

There is no down side to taking some time for yourself to work out what you want. You deserve to be happy and comfortable.

I hope my experience has helped you a bit. Please feel free to keep posting if you have the time.

Jess

Rjade
Community Member

Hi Jess.

Thank you for replying to my post and sharing your experience with me, much appreciated.

I don’t feel so alone anymore and I think some time out for myself will help to put things in perspective. I do also believe that if this relationship wasn’t to work out that it wouldn’t be my fault and that I don’t have to feel guilty about moving on.

Thanks again for your support 🙂