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Feeling abandoned by friend.

Community Member

Last year I fell out with someone I considered my best friend and we haven't spoken in a very very long time.

I have other friends, they've always been closer with me (as I met them in a different stage of my life) but they knew each other through me, only saw each other because of me and whenever there were catch ups I'd be there. Usually organised by me.

Since I've fallen out with this 1st friend, she has been making over the top effort to organise catch ups with my friends and always excluding me.

What I am most upset about is that I mentioned to friend #2 that I'm seeing a psychologist to deal with losing a friend (that suggests that I'm not coping with it very well doesn't it?)

Anyway, a matter of a week later I see friend #2 posting on social media about their dinner that I was very obviously excluded from. I was absolutely shocked that she did that after me telling her whats going on for me. I'm not bothered about the dinner, or that they catch up. I have accepted it but I am still in utter shock that friend #2 totally disregarded my feelings for some likes.

Am I wrong in being upset here? Have you had a similar situation? I'm feeling incredibly abandoned, isolated from my old lift and that friend #1 is going above and beyond to make my life hell.

2 Replies 2

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Ashleigh,

I am not saying what your friend #2 did was heartless or not, but maybe you just need to put yourself into their shoes a sec, she may have posted because of 2 reasons you may not have considered, first is because she is not sharing your information with anyone else due to respecting your privacy, but then has to appear normal and oblivious to you to the friends she was with, and the second is that friend #2 just simply forgot your issue and posted harmlessly, not realizing you would see it. Both cases doesnt mean she deliberately has done these to hurt you.

Just wait and see what happens later, maybe a proper explanation will present itself to you,


Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Ashleigh~

I'm sorry you are having these hassles. Losing friend No1 would have been a pretty upsetting experience and probably made you value other friendships more, and maybe became more sensitive too -only natural.

On the face of it friend No2 posting about the diner where you were not invited does sound thoughtless to say the least, though as Terry says there might be other factors involved.

It would be a pity to just let things lie there and keep on feeling as bad as you do. Plus any friendship is worth effort to maintain.

Lots of times I've felt someone has done me disservice, only to find it was not the case or there were other considerations involved when I talked about it. Do you think it might be worth having a talk with friend No2 about this?