Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Announcement Icon
You can win one of three $200 gift cards. Complete our survey by 5pm, 30 June 2024 AEST to enter the draw. Your response will be anonymous so you can't be identified.

Feel lonely but married

Community Member
Hi I'm mark I am 38 and have been married for 7years and have been together for 9 my wife and I used to have a great sex life and was passionate but now a lot of the time I have to initiate for anything to happen. I do house work help out as much as I can but when it comes to times of us doing anything I get I am tired so don't expect much. There is no passion from her or interest from her most of the time. I love my wife and I don't wanna her to feel pressured but men feel love by having that physical contact and a lot of time I feel like she is doing cause she feels like an obligation or something. I want some excitement and passion I don't know what to do.
2 Replies 2

Community Member

Hi Mark, and thank you for sharing your feelings, it takes courage to open up and express your feelings.

A big warm welcome to the forum, and I feel for you.

I know it's very difficult for you as a man, because men receive love through sex, but women are different. We women receive love when we are protected and cared for.

The best you can do is to talk and communicate with your partner and find out what will turn her on and what you can do to bring the passion back in the relationship. Be patient and suggest marriage counselling if you can't work out things on your own.

I hope you will write back an tell us more about your situation. You can ask any question .....we will understand and answer as best as we can.

ciao for now


Community Member

Hi Whitma99,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

solabear has given some great advice above. It is a tricky situation I understand that, have you spoken to your wife about all of this? Does there seem to be issues in your marriage at all that you are aware of or is everything else going fine, just the sex side of it?

I understand this may be tough to talk about but reaching out for help is always a good idea. Marriage counselling may be something to look into as well. Has all this happened recently or been happening for a few years now?

My best for you,