Feel like my husband of 15 years no longer loves me..
We’ve been married for 13 yrs, been through a bit here and there but lately I’m just over the way I feel.
We aren’t intimate much these days, my fault... I’m a busy woman and don’t stop until the kids are in bed but then just want to sit with him and watch some tv.
He rarely says to me I look great when we go out, which hurts as I rarely dress up. I have anxiety and I feel down a lot...
He has always looked at other women in the streets, just another thing that puts me down.
He has deleted messages from women at work, more than once that’s for sure. I have had trust issues since day 1 as he was separated from his wife back then but secrets......
We live in a nice area and have so for many many years but he is always off any chance he gets to play golf. I feel like he doesn’t want to be around me.
Any chance he gets, he goes. I’m always home weekends with our children and I’m down.
i have 1 friend who I see here and there. I have no one else, no other friend, mum, I feel alone.
I drink a lot, too much I know but it numbs the way I feel. I’m still a perfect mum through day but of an evening drink because I feel alone and like rubbish.
If I didn’t have child I wish I were dead. I’ve attempted a few times but the many other times been too scarred as I have beautiful children.
I do feel crap with my life with my husband. I don’t know what to do, I would love for our life together to improve but I dont know how.
Thanks for listening xx
Welcome to the forum and it is so wonderful that you can come here and chat and get what I can feel is a very painful and anxious time for you. Firstly though, 13 of marriage is to be commended, so congratulations, you are most definitely doing something right. Marriage is so very hard and hard to keep the spark alive, especially with kids and with working full time, I was only able to succeed in my marriage for 17 years, the same sort of situation as you, working, kids and just not enough time in the day to do anything much more, let alone intimacy and working on your marriage.
Just a thought as I heard what you were saying about how much trouble you go to when you get dressed up and your husband doesn't comment and you feel like they don't even notice you....I had the very same experience. It bothered me so much as I did go to alot of trouble and I wanted to look beautiful and I did want him to notice..so I had to have a chat with him, at a seperate time, when I was not dressed up, just saying that I needed him to see me, and i asked him if he did see me, when I had gone to so much trouble and I was standing there and ..well...nothing..it was really hurtful and I felt unloved and unwanted. He had no idea, yes I know...but I felt better for having this conversation with him calmly and just saying what I needed. Things did change in that area and he did make an effort.
There are some wonderful services out there too like Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277, they are available anytime to chat and have some professionals that can give you some really great advice and support, they really are amazing.
I also wanted to say you need to be alive, you are loved, your child needs you and your family need you, the world needs you Cleo4392 and I know this is a really hard time for you but please keep talking and reaching out. If you do feel so very low and there is no hope please call Lifeline on 13 11 14, they are professionals and will help and support you. If you are in danger of hurting yourself please just call an ambulance 000, you are so worth it.
I am here to chat as much as you need to and give you some support and just listen, big hugs to you Cleo4392.