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Feel like leaving partner, sexual and intellectual problems.

Community Member
so i have written and deleted this message like 5 times, it just goes for ever.
short story, 2 years together, 6 month old son, feeling unattracted to partner who got fat and wont do anything about it, while im 26 and attractive and look like a fit guy in the gym.

sex life is broken havent had sex in like 12 months barely touched me. like 5 times if that.
we dont kiss or hug and most of the time it feels forced.

i just look around and see all the pretty healthy girls that are not 30kg heavier then me that i want to protect and go do fun things with, one that is smart and energetic and one that still has passion for me and herself.

love my son and care about this chick but feel like i only live once and if i dont do anything about it i am wasting my life not being happy.

even though leaving will be hard and painful for a short time, i feel like i need to get out and meet someone who is more like me, active in the mind and body, someone who reads books and has opinions on things and works towards goals ect. not just a fat netflix bad food binger who only ever talks about negative things like bad day at work, general running down people that you dont like stuff is all we can talk about.

she acted like she was like me and put on a big show for me but then when we started dating and becoming offical it all went out the window.

i dont want to hold her, kiss her, have sex with her and sacrifice my freedom for her anymore.

i feel like theres so many girls all around this area that just make me really excited to look at, i see them playing sports and doing really well and being happy and fun and my girl is just giving up not interesting, and just puts her head in the sand.

basically looking like im going to say i have had enough and dont think this is going to ever give me the same feeling as it did when we first started and just say ill always be there to support u and the son ect. but i need to go and do other things coz this is not working anymore.
23 Replies 23

G'day all

I have been following this thread with some interest. I must admit to being a little surprised by the way this thread played out.

Rightly or wrongly, I'm left with the impression that "Strong guy", has been judged and found wanting. I'm now wondering how this thread would have concluded had the gender rolls been reversed?

This is suppose to be a safe, non-judgmental forum! My apologies if I've missed the mark.


Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

I was very triggered and upset by what happened on this thread. I don't think had the gender roles been reversed it would have been different.

I apologise for speaking too harshly initially. I was also very upset by what was being written.

from another perspective, and with sensitivity to anyone who wants to write and share and not feel judged, I felt triggered, hurt, upset and now powerless at engaging with this thread. I also feel sad because I cannot unsubscribe to the thread and didn't feel safe to share my own differeing opinions to the poster.
I think this is has been hard for members as well as the initial poster and I personally have had a really hard time.

Thanks to everyone who contributed to this thread. We're going to close it to new comments now as we feel it has run its course. As others have pointed out, our forums are non-judgmental places built on five key values: support, respect, empowerment, safety and friendliness. If you have any questions or concerns about this decision please contact the moderators at modsupport@beyondblue.org.au