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Feel inadequate to the opposite sex

Community Member

Hi, not sure whether i have hit the right thread but some similar stories on here so think Im close.

Reason for my post, looking for some other peoples and girls perspective here if possible.

I am 28, electrician and current uni student, super fit and healthy, have always had a good job, bought a house 3 years ago and have always been into sport and now competitive marathon running. Personality wise, consider myself incredibly driven, genuine, honest, friendly and approachable, all good traits i think.

Problem i have is i never seem to generate any interest from girls. I know i have a lot going for me, have a great group of friends both male and female, so i know i dont have any social skill issues here. My self esteem about myself i think is pretty good but when it comes to girls i feel totally inadequate, My 2 housemates pick up girls no worries, where as i just don't. I'm certainly no worse looking than them or have any less going for me. I have been on numerous dates in the last year but none seem interested at all after the first or second date.

Ive never been the desperate, needy type, as i am quite picky, so i am confident i don't come off like this, just feeling like im never going to meet anyone.

This has always been the feeling ive had (except for 1 long term girlfriend in the past) and as i get older im questioning this more and more and wondering whether there is actually something wrong with me, or do i just not put myself out there enough when i see a girl that catches my eye?

Any help/advice would be great, cheers guys 🙂

1 Reply 1

Community Member

It is really difficult to give advice from your description here, as we haven't met and talked to you in person. Some general advice though:

  • It is good that you figure out your good traits. Think about how you should present these appealing qualities to girls.
  • I agree that you don't have too many problems with social skills, particularly you have some great female friends. You could miss out something subtle and non-verbal that girls are after, e.g. she wishes you to be there for her when she is sick, but she may not say that explicitly to you. For that, perhaps some female friends that know you well can give you some clues.
  • The fact that you had one girlfriend before shows that you do generate interest to girls. You just haven't met the one yet. Others can be as picky as you! You need to be more confident in yourself and be patient.
  • (https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/relationship-and-family-issues/can't-seem-to-find-a-decent-relationship#qmljTnHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A) Finally, you may find this thread helpful.

All the best!