Expecting a baby and finances

[YasmineI1993]

Hiya,

expecting my first bub next month in April. Currently on mat leave an opted for a year off to raise and be with my baby. We have recently moved into my partners parents rental house. My partner works full time aa a physio. I only have 18weeka paid maternity leave and that’s it. I don’ t have a lot of savings, but i have personal loans to repay and credit cards and i am still expected to pay rent etc while not really hving an income. Is this normal? Should my partner be covering these types of costs for the time being? I am finding finances a hard topic to bring up.

It’s really getting me down the thought of outgoing expenses and no incoming, not as much as i was earning working full time. Any advice of help will go along way, feeling very heavy and emotional everyday about this.

[white knight]

Hi and welcome

This site is anonymous.

I assume this bany is also your partners baby as your post doesnt read that way. If so then he is of course responsible for half the costs. But as a man I would expect myself to maintain all of the costs when you have no income.

This is what I would do.

Sit down undistracted and ask him questions. Eg

"You know Im not getting income right"?

"So how do you think I should go about paying bills. If you were me what do you suggest?"

"What is your idea of family in terms of sharing finances"

"Are you aware that as a family with a baby its more common for a father to take on the bills while his wife has no income"?

"Where does your responsibility with our new little family start and end?"

Gather as much information as possible to make future judgements.

Imo there is no part time dad, part time partner in your situation. He is it seems in "single" life mode.

I hope Ive helped. Repost anytime

Tony WK

[CMF]

Hi Yasmine and welcome,

Firstly congratulations on your first bub, quite an exciting time. Tony has made some great points and raises good questions. I assume you and your partner are living together in his parent's rental house? I will also assume he is the father in which case, yes he should be covering the costs of living. You will be given forms in hospital to apply for family tax benefit and parenting payment. Depending on his income you possibly will have some income, however if you are a couple and he is the father i think he should still be stepping up and taking responsibility. You are taking time off to raise a child that belongs to both of you so he has an obligation and responsibility to fulfill. What were your previous living arrangements if you don't mind me asking?

I know how stressful this time can be but please try and enjoy the excitement of this beautiful journey you are about to embark on.

Wishing you all the best.

cmf x

[CMF]

Forgot to add, if you were separated he would have to pay child support. It sounds as though you are in a de facto relationship so yes he is responsible as if you were married. You can call the family assistance office for more info.

[Elizabeth CP]

If you & your partner are in a committed relationship (as opposed to a very casual affair with no plans to stay together) then both of you should be committed to supporting each other. Tony gives some great ideas for questions to ask to start the discussion. As far as Centerlink is concerned if you are living together as partners they consider the total income as belonging to both, In other words they expect the person with the income to provide financial support for the family. Even if a couple split up after living together the father is expected to pay child support.

In other words our society expects the male partner to support the female partner while she is home after having his child.

Tony's questions seem to be helpful as they provide a non-judgemental way to get the conversation going so you can both come to a fair agreement so you can all manage financially. The sooner this happens the better. Once the baby arrives you will be affected by lots of hormones which affects your mood as well as tiredness & a huge learning curve so it is better to have the discussion before this. Hopefully once things are in the open you will both be able to support each other & enjoy the journey of parenthood. Good luck!!!