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Estranged young man

Community Member

Hi my name is callum,

im 36 and a single man, ive been estranged from my mother and siblings for 6 years, due to abuse from a young age. I never hear from my father as he is a alcoholic and a child trapped in the 70s.

There are days i feel really lonely, for example Christmas and bithdays.

I struggle with mental illness on a dayly event. I don't work which is hard because ive worked all my life.

Back in my 20s i had friends and had so much fun, but now i dont as everyone has either gotten married and had kids or moved on with their lives. So i feel frozen in time.

So i guess this is me trying to cope and stay connected.

2 Replies 2

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor


I hope it’s okay if I extend a caring welcome to the forums to you. I’m glad you posted and shared a little of your struggles here...

You have clearly been through a lot in life; there’s very deep rooted pain, loss and hurt there. The weight of being abused, family estrangement and an absent father must be absolutely overwhelming sometimes. That’s a lot for any one person to go through...

Loneliness is such a horrible feeling. I think it’s sad that there seems to be a real disconnect between you and your friends. You must miss your 20s with them...

But good on you for trying to make connections here. Many people find their first post very nerve racking so I think it’s fantastic that you have taken the first step.

You are always most welcome to write more about yourself (only if you want to and feel comfortable doing so- no pressure) as we all try to look out for each other here 🙂

caring thoughts,



Community Member

Hi Callummorris,

That's really tough. I often wonder how much the mental illness epidemic has to do with how isolated we are nowadays. More and more people are living on their own or working from home. It used to be that we would eat, sleep, hunt and gather together as a group, now you can just head to the supermarket or order groceries online without interacting with a single human being face to face.

Anyway, spending time with other people now requires more effort, which can be difficult when you're suffering from mental health issues. Is there anyway you could reconnect with your old friends? Perhaps by suggesting a coffee catch up or grabbing a drink? Another option is to suggest something active (rock climbing, tennis, gym session) - I find this is a good way to stay connected to friends who are in relationships as everyone needs to stay active yet this is something people often do on their own as more of a 'chore' so by using this time to socialise I don't feel like I'm taking away time from them and their partner.