Emotional affair were both so lost

[Jane1234]

brief description, been together 12 years great until 3 years ago, my daughter from a previous relationship started highschool, lots of trouble, police came around every few months, every fortnight a different drama. Me and my partner were very distant. I never realised this at the time.......

he told me it was over, I thought there was more, so I kept asking him if there was someone else, a week later he admitted there was she was 26 he's 41.They meet when he was away at work, four months ago, she made him happy.

I told him to get out. I was so broken cried all the time it wasn't until this that I realised that I still loved him.

He still came around every second day or so just to check on things. I kept crying and telling him i wanted to try to work things out and that I forgot I was inlove with him. He kept saying he loved me but wasn't inlove with me and he wasn't comming back to this relationship too many dramas he wasn't being unhappy anymore and he had found someone who made him happy.

Two weeks after he went to he's mothers he rang me up crying hysterically telling me he was still inlove with me but doesn't understand how we could fix this and that he had called things off with the other woman.

He moved back in and everytime we tried to talk to each other, either the other woman or my daughter was brought up. We were totally upfront and honest with each other lots of tears, emotions and awkwardness both ways, this happened for four weeks. We were sleeping in the same bed, every night we'd cuddle and wake up kissing. He told me he was scared to try again, asked how could I still love him after what he did, told me he didn't realise I loved him, I wanted him to unpack boxes and change motels which he never did.

last week he went back to the same motel I was cranky and emotional, had an argument with him telling him we needed a break.

I sent him a message the next day saying sorry I didn't want to go anywhere.

he came home three days later, told me that he wasn't sure how he felt about me and thought me going away for a few days would be a good idea. He asked me if I would sleep in the same bed as him I said no if you want me to go I'll go but I can't do both. I never left but started sleeping in a different room.

Its been a week, he's still saying he's unsure of how he feels, he just needs time to make up he's mind.

How much time do I give him, How can he go from loving me to not loving me.

I feel so lost, distant and hurt at the moment.

[To_Old_For_This]

Jane1234

I am sorry you are feeling so bad over this breakup. Breakups are never easy, but in the end he has probably done you a favour. I know it is hard to see this now, but he has messed you around with his nonsense. I am sure his fence-sitting is more to do with his choosing who or what he wants in his life, than anything you have or haven't given or done for him.

Look at your life. Look at your family. Look at what you deserve. You deserve someone solid and loyal who is prepared to look after you. Not be there one day and having to think about it the next.

Take some time for yourself. Let him move on. Let him self-destruct. You are worth more than that.

[Jane1234]

I wish I could believe that I could move in with my life without him, I don't feel like that's possible.

I don't know what's going on with him at the moment my daughter who sees him says he's still not himself, and that gives me hope, so there I am thinking about him all over again, it's just not fair on myself or my girls.

If anyone has any ideas of how to move on that would be wonderful. Thankyou

[To_Old_For_This]

Do you have support from family or friends? I understand you are finding it really hard right now. You need to try to do somethings for you. You can not control what he feels or does. Only what you feel or do.

Take care of yourself. Try to do something every day for yourself, that you enjoy.