Desperate for answers
It sounds like you're in a really difficult situation and I'm not surprised you feel like you're at your wits end. Your children might be feeling the same way too, it's quite often called 'acting out'. Kids don't know as many ways to cope as adults and often become destructive or aggressive.
I recommend starting out by seeing your GP and getting a referral to see a psychologist who specialises in helping families, that way you can start off there and they may even be able to see your children too to help them along. You can get a mental health care plan which will give you free or highly subsidised sessions. Your GP can also prescribe you something to help you deal with anxiety, which could help you in such a stressful situation.
I can imagine you would feel awful fairly often as the enormity of it all hits home, it often comes in waves of anger, anxiety, depression, nausea... so don't forget if there are times you really need to speak to someone urgently, call the beyondblue hotline on 1300 22 4636.
Please also feel free to tell us a bit more about what you are experiencing here and we will listen and do our best to help you.
Hang in there and all the best.