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Depression, loss of sex and pregnant.

Community Member

Hi, first time poster here.

I feel like im going to explode, any help would be greatly appreciated.

Me and my partner love each other very much but were stuck in a badly timed crappy situaion right now which i fear is going to tear us apart if it doesnt get resolved. I have BPD and am terrible at regulating and articulating my emotions, im also 9 months pregnant due any moment now. My partner lost his dad a year ago and is very depressed. The main problem is we haven't had sex in months, which i totally understand why he isn't feeling it, him and his dad were very close. My raging hormones won't let me ignore these intense feelings no matter how hard i try to distract myself, i feel so shit about feeling this way, i just want to be there to comfort him and help him through but its been going on for so long now i feel like my body is going to be ruined after the birth so i feel like theres a time limit also. He just distracts with weed, games and scrolling through facebook. All the time. Whenever i try to talk to him about how the lack of affection in our relationship is affecting me it both comes out wrong and upsets him. So i feel i can't talk to him anymore, i just pretend im fine to create a happy atmosphere for our family but im about to break. Its all building up inside brewing some real negative feelings within me. I love him so i don't want these feelings, but as much as i try they won't leave me alone. It keeps me up at night, iv given him so many help options to try but he wont reach out. I need him more than ever, its been a terrible pregnancy with many complications and i don't want to bring our baby into this mess. The constant rejection and body changes has left me with no self-esteem and very frustrated, often thinking about doing very stupid things. Im so worried i will have no self control when the babys born and drink myself stupid, im already having these thoughts and i feel so guilty for even having them. I just want to make him happy.

Please be gentle, im very embarrassed about this.

1 Reply 1

Community Member

So understandable.. i had to comment just to let you know you arent crazy and the effects of feeling rejected and unwanted are so very real.

My partner did this to me while i was pregnant.. it broke me. It made me feel sad anxious and unattractive. I tried so very hard an got no where. Until i gave up and had my baby. Then i put all my concentration into the baby and felt happy again from the distraction. Funny thing was once i dropped to my pre pregnancy weight and started wearing my old tight clothes he was all over me, pressuring me for sex whenever he could get to me.

It made me feel even worse though, because it made me realise he really just didnt want me when i was pregnant and now maybe because others might come after me he started again. I broke up with him after it. He destroyed my confidence.

In saying this (i know i got off topic a bit i get carried away with old feelings) my partner didnt suffer the loss like yous so im really not sure how long you are suppose to put up with that... 😕