Hi everyone,
I don’t really know where to start. I’m a 30 year old woman with a long history of depression and anxiety who is married to a man in his mid 30s who also has depression and anxiety, possibly OCD. We have been together almost 8 years and have been through many highs and lows.
The biggest high is the birth of our daughter 2 years ago who is the light of my life. Since her birth I have had a pretty good grasp on my depression, with some anxiety flare ups but overall my mental health has been stable.
My husband on the other hand, has been on a steep decline mentally for about 3 years, to the point that he now feels he has nothing left and has given up on happiness and wants me and our daughter to leave him.
I am at a loss. I have been as supportive as I possibly can be the past few years. I’ve stood by him through the moments of rage and anger, the verbal abuse, the sexual problems, the walking on eggshells for fear of disturbing his OCD environment (everything has to be just so or he gets angry).
Don’t get me wrong, he is a good man, he is always extremely remorseful and apologetic after he’s lost his cool. But no matter how much I’ve asked him to seek help it feels like he doesn’t. Now he’s at the point where he says he’s too broken and is destined to live his life unhappy. My heart breaks for him but also for our family. I want better for all of us but just can’t seem to get him to want to change.
I’ve suggested a mental health retreat as a last ditch concentrated effort to help him change some of his deep seated, very long standing self beliefs, but nothing.
I'm at such a loss and feeling so heartbroken and unsure what to do next. How can you help someone who won’t help themselves 😞
