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Dealing with Ex’s , is it jealousy or disrespectful

Torn and broken
Community Member

Hi there

not Sure where to start. I’ve been with my partner for a few years now and we share a house together. I’m very much in love with this man but feel like I have put up with a lot to keep the relationship together. We have a beautiful connection, extremely intimate and enjoy each other’s company. He spoils me rotten as I do him but feel there is two sides to this man. I feel we are only at our happiest if I keep my unhappy feelings to myself. Omit seems if I ever disagree with someone ie Ex’s he gets very cross at me and says I’m jealous.
To fill you in a little, 5 months into our relationship he went back to his ex girlfriend for a week but then came back to me. I took him back. Along the way he also told me in anger that he did not know if he was still in love with his ex wife. 4 years later I have dealt with 4 occasions where he has been in contact with his ex girlfriend (not wife ) because he wasn’t sure about us. His ex girlfriend engaged with the contact because she was still in love with him. On all occasions I was completely devastated but he managed to win my heart back. As far as I know that contact ended over a year ago.

My issue now is his ex wife is always asking for help with maintenance around the house as she is single and has been since their divorce which was her decision
This makes me uncomfortable and I tell him so as I feel he should tell her she needs to sort things out herself now and not rely on him Am I wrong to ask him to do this , is it jealousy or is it disrespectful on his behalf and should he be putting my feelings first
at the end of the day I feel he doesn’t want to upset her by saying no he can’t do it but doesn’t mind hurting my feelings I feel like I have been through enough of disrespect with this man when it comes to ex’s but just don’t know what to do

I can imagine some people would just be saying leave him which is what my friends say but like I said there are two parts to this man
He is so loving , generous, fun to be around , treats me like a queen but then when these issues arise , he calls me jealous and is awful to me
Your honest answers will be gladly received

Thsnk you for taking the time to read

20 Replies 20

Thank you for all your wonderful advice. I will be fine , I just have to keep telling myself that every day.