Could be a major issue with my lady , not sure what to do in it. Thoughts ?

[Guest_1584]

As a few know from my other thread l met someone new about 10mths ago and again thanks so much for the help and thoughts back in that thread too it really helped . Unfortunately we have a could be a pretty big problem and l just dunno what to do about it or how to look at it.

You see she moved over to oz with her hubby 6yrs ago but they split up 2yrs later and divorced . he changed and got violent, nother story. Anyway they'd done visas and we're all set and approved but 3mths ago she got a new letter from immigration and they're reviewing their visas because they got divorced. better not go into details here but the whole thing is now the lawyer can't say whether they'll still approve her original visa or if she'll have to go for a whole new visa if the decide now something wasn't right .

Her and her h paid 14,000 for their applications 7k each , the most ridiculously dearest visa in the whole damn world that l can find by almost triple and ridiculously hard , most other countries in fact are only 3 and 400 dollars or euro . Well they were approved and basically just waiting on the official stamp so to speak and that was it.Butttt, so if she does have to reapply guess what , they don't refund the first 7k, she's gotta pay another 7k. as if the first wasn't enough, what a scam..

Anyway , l know how it might sound but nope it's all 100% legit l've seen all the original stuff from her and her ex 6mths ago because she was going through it all and showed me and l've seen the new letter even went with her to the lawyer and heard the whole story directly from him too.

l dunno wth to do . l mean we have a beautiful relationship l'd think marriage later for sure if it kept on like this but atm it's only been 10 mths and if it was any other country l couldn't care less about 3 or 400 bucks. But if it does come to that then we'd have to find about 8k all up l don't have it ex and me habe forked out a fortune on d's school this year and braces , she doesn't have near enough , l just dunno. And whatever we are , we just haven't been together long enough for me to tryst the whole sitch anyway yet.

Now l'm scared to let things go on with us right now because if worst happens there's nothing we can do, she'll probably have to leave the country and we bth end up broken hearted . The lawyer says she could know in a month or 18mths no way to tell.

[geoff]

Hi RX, it's great Mil is in touch with you and sorry I haven't been.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Guest_1584]

Gday Geoff, thanks very much for that and no worries at all.

Hope your traveling ok.

All the best. rx

[Guest_1584]

Hi to one and all .Just needing a bit of a rant here so don't mind me. No guarantees it's gonna make any sense or be in any particular order either sorry.

Well, we had our dates mixed up l thought it'd been longer but gf tells me last night we met exactly 12mths ago. Spose there could be an anniversary night accept she only discovered it yesterday with a date she found, and atm she's up home anyway. But l couldn't even enjoy one anyway it more feels like a threat , time time time, type thing unfortunately.

She also heard back from the lawyer last week and he reckons she'll probably get and answer about feb next year, jesus that's only 6mths, shyt . But l kinda wish she'd hear now actually, before we get anymore involved , at least we'd know.

She's been down again here for awhile , just flew back Friday. Our relationship and thing has turned so many corners and crept up to whole new realms lately , the way these things do if two people are suited and we're looking very much that way lt really could be a lifer from here but l'm so on edge about that and subconsciously fighting it and feelings off too because of this damn visa thing . She is such a beautiful partner and we're just existing and slotting in to life so nicely together , strange how we're so much alike yet from the other sides of the world.

Normally that'd be a great thing right , a beautiful thing that most people dream to find, but for me it feels like a threat because if we just enjoy and let it grow , it could be taken away. Damn how do l get myself into these things.

l really have no damn idea how to handle this. l've even thought of ending it right here , l don't want feelings getting any further , l'm panicked to even let myself hear feelings . Trouble is , the thought of ending it just doesn't feel right, l couldn't really see life with someone else right now , God whata mess.

Sorry about that , and l might be back , things are spinning with confusion.

[blondguy]

Hey RX

Great to see you online as always.....I have been on a break since mid July and just back...

You dont rant RX and never have. Ive only been back online for a little while....Can I ask what your heart wants ?

be gentle to yourself brother

my kind thoughts always RX

Paul

[Guest_1584]

Gday paul and thanks for that as always mate any your thoughts are always muchly appreciated.

Tbh , l'm still having a bit of a battle with heart and mind. l don't wanna rush into something new just because l simply don't but now there is also her visa situation. So even though we've been going so well , l'm subconsciously fighting feelings off. She wants to move down and in , she can't keep coming all this way and being months here months there , it's messing up her life and stressing her out non stop and she hates the traveling but even more so she thinks her visa will be ok and she just wants to start life together.

Me on the other hand , l understand all that of course and l know how much all this up and back and living in two states at once is messing her up , but even so , l'd still prefer to just keep things this way for another 6mths yet myself. lt is getting harder and harder to say good bye, lots of tears, but moving in together changes everything in a relationship , it's a big thing and after everything else , l'd still prefer to just hold off a bit more for now , if we could.

We talk a lot about it but can't come up with a solution.

All the best mate and l hope you've been ok.

rx

[Guest_1584]

Hi to all, hope everyone's doing ok , how you holding up to Mil , hope things have been going ok.

Well , another vent is needed by yours truly l'm afraid , this whole thing is really stressing me out.

We've well gf moreso actually , have decided to take a bit of time out and have a break. She's pissed and hurt and tired from coming down and back and of me keeping her in limbo like this.

What changed is after she got home she spoke to an agent as Mil was suggesting and he read through her case. He thinks she'll lose and will have to reapply. But he says she;ll be told to leave the country and reapply from off sure, her country and that could take 18mths., even longer.

That didn't sound right so l spoke to another agent told him the whole story. butttt, he agreed with the other guy, holy bloody moses this is too much. We've only been together 12 mths but only spent 6 of that actually in person. GF thinks she found another way if it does come to that, whereby she could come back in 2wks , she's Portuguese, as long as we declare our relationship and show proof of this last 12mths , jesus bloody C . And we could reapply with her here instead of from home. l dunno if it's right l'm dyslexic and l can only read so much bs , then l see nothing, and there's a lottttt of bs to read trying to nail it down.

But l know one thing it's all as confusing and pressurizing as hell so soon in whatever our relationship will be and is so far , it just doesn't belong. right now it's just too soon. And then even if we are together and she's sent home there's the costs there and another 7 bloody k for a new visa.

Holy mother of God.

Well, if you dropped in you have my sympathy and admiration .

rx

[blondguy]

Hey RX

Just before you mentioned confusion and pressurizing I was feeling the pressure myself...seriously

Just my very humble point of view if thats okay...

• 12 months is a wonderful yet too brief a time to considering geographic relocations/legal matters etc
• You were healing from your previous relationship not too long ago
• 12 months is still the 'beautiful warm fuzzy' time in a relationship.....(for many people....not all)
• Haste makes Waste

RX.....the above points are only from my own life experience. Can I ask if you have a doc you make a double appointment with and have a really good chat with? You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by doing so

Your own well being is paramount here....All other considerations are secondary

I hope some of this is helpful

my kind thoughts and always good to see you RX 🙂

Paul

[Guest_1584]

Hey Paul , nice to see you mate and thanks as always . Tbh mate l think you underestimate your thoughts on things and l always appreciate hearing what you've got to say.

Your spot on and this is it, 12mths is a the fun getting to see what you are time but it's too soon to be forced into think such heavy stuff 12mths in advance already . Especially when we've only been able to get 6mths actually together. Although l suppose Mil had to do the same with her bf right Mil, if you drop in.

Me l'd love us to just go on as is for now and we've sure got enough between us to be well worthwhile doing that. But she's tired traveling up and back understandably and she's gone above and beyond for sure living in two states at once and limbo. So she wants to just move in now and stay until we hear, that'd probably be about feb next year. And l suppose it's a good idea really and it gives us more time to be sure where we're at. She's sure,,, l'm just being mega bloody cautious l know , but eh , it's a very big thing so l think that's fair enough myself.

Anyway , problem is , l'd sort of like the idea too , touch soon but at this stage well,l'd be happy .but my daughters staying again lately and it's been beautiful getting time together again like this been nearly 3yrs she's only stayed a few times last few years. They haven't met yet but l know she'd much prefer one on one right now and so would l. l think they'd get along no worries but it's just a new person that my d doesn't know, wont be the same.

Mind you , new friends and things going on will pop up again any day and she'll be back to doing her own thing anyway chances are, but l wanna be here just encase. She just got her license too and been driving over anytime she can borrow mums car and it's just been really bloody cool. Mind you, haven't even seen her yet through these holidays, we were suppose to go gold detecting today haha, weather looks a bit crappy though.

Mate thing is , l wouldn't know what l'm suppose to say to a doctor , he wouldn't wanna listen to my love life wows 30mins would he ? l did get some time with my councilor though , twice actually, got a lady filling in the second time. They both said just roll along with it and enjoy gf and our time for now , try not to worry about the visa stuff yet. Well , l'd like to , accept she can't keep just coming up and back like this.

Anyway , how have you been mate ok .

Thanks again , rx

[Guest_1584]

Completely forgot , there was one big development . Her son reckons if she does have to go for another visa he'll pay for it , wow hey . Must admit feel a bit bad though he's paying Sydney rent prices and he's just had a baby , but he is in a pretty good paying job.

PS , Hey Mil , if you happen to come back , so you came all the way over here with your bf huh , God that's a huge thing . Dunno what l'm complaining about then , very bloody gun shy at this stage l think. Anyway , hope your doin ok,

rx

[quirkywords]

Randomx,

Hello . I have been catching up on your posts.

I like the way you are coping with the situation and being flexible.

Quirky