Hi Sashed,
I sincerely feel for your situation, and hope that your relationship with your son improves.
Being a teenager myself, I can understand hiding stuff from my parents. Often I find it hard to speak to my parents about things, in this case, your stepson might be worried about talking to you regarding moving out, even afraid you might say 'No', in harsh reality is much easier to speak to friends about stuff such as that, in my opinion.
I know I lie when I find something embarrassing, or I've done something wrong. A lousy trait but in honesty everyone does it. Thought I wouldn't discount it, there may be something much more profound going on. I would keep communication lines open, even if it is just over the phone.
RE: "He had been seeing a counsellor with a mental health plan in place, going to a good local school, thriving in sport and had a job." Is he still seeing his counsellor? Do you have any contact with the school? What are his grades like?
As PamelaR said, to prepare for when he meets you, do some research on mental health.
I would ask him, what place suits him? I know I'm more likely to open up if I'm comfortable and know the person I'm tellings not judging (or at least feel like they're judging).
I wouldn't bring up the lies straight off. Personally, I would try and encourage him to speak to you guys again in person and bring it up on the second or third session if possible.
Otherwise, bring it up slowly. You have the right idea,"calm and diplomatic."
If he doesn't like the whole idea of meeting Face-to-Face encourage him to write a letter, whatever suits better.
I wish you the best of luck,
Keep us updated.
Feel free to ask questions as they pop up.
C.
