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I'm married and I'm currently cheating with a coworker that's also married.

We started as good friends and ended up growing into a love affair we tried to out a feelings aside as none of us want to leave our partners but our feelings were too strong. He has been attentive and thoughtful and made me feel like a priority which has been a welcoming change.

Lately I feel that he isn't as intrested as he was before and this makes me have anxiety attacks and makes me want to cry all day

I dont know what to do

3 Replies 3

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi and welcome to the beyond blue forums.

To summarise... You are in an affair with a coworker who now appears to have lost interest and you don't know what to do. Is that correct?

I Will come back to the above.

It seems that what you were getting from the affair you were not getting from your husband. You said it was nice for him being attentive to you. I am guessing that you tried to work things out with your husband but it didn't work out? Guessing only. Is any part of this correct?

Can I ask what you were looking for in the relationship with your coworker? Did you expect it get this far?

What does the co-worker think?

Sorry about all the questions. I am unsure what you can do, but I be a sounding board if you want to chat more.

Thanks for your response

I'm still with my husband but it's not a bad relationship in the sense that we don't hate each other we get along but we are more room mates

With my coworker theres laughter and passion and a connection.

Even doe lately I feel like he might be having second thoughts

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello KELLY ANNE, sometimes it may seem to be appropriate to have an affair with a coworker to re-excite your daily life but unfortunately, there are more cons than the initial pro's, the excitement of being together with someone new, where you can be intimate together and arouse the both of you, but after a short time this tends to wear off and then the guilt begins and this could be for many different reasons and in your case, his interest has wained and may feel guilty about his marriage if this affair was to be found out.

The problem is once two people are intimate outside of their marriage then they may tend to start opening up to each other, which may be convenient for one person, but the other one is not interested at all and tends to back off and make excuses why they can no longer see each other, when this happens, you will be very upset and may tend to cry, as the person you were hoping to be close to has backed away.

If your marriage has lost its spark, then there's a reason why and by having an affair is not going to rectify these problems, they need to be dealt with the help of a doctor, because seeing a coworker is not only going to prove a problem at work but also going to make this issue much harder to be with your spouse.

Hope you can get back to us when you're available.