Can’t get past the betrayal

[Melrose222]

I am and have been struggling to get over past betrayals. 

My ex husband cheated and left our marriage and family with  a person in our friendship group. 

I also experienced many years of childhood physical and emotional abuse. 

A recent event triggered old hurts and pain to surface again …

 
I still after so many years struggle with feelings of betrayal, self worth- not good enough 

My adult children rightly so are over me still struggling and watching me fall apart again. My long suffering friends over it too . 

They  all tell me to move on… I want to!! 

I feel so alone. Am I playing the victim? 
The pain is real …  

For years  I have tried different therapies and even medication .. but still here I am. 

How do I ‘move on’? 

[Sophie_M]

Hi Melrose222,  We’re sorry to hear what you’ve been through. It sounds like it’s had some very serious impacts on your life and family. We’re glad you could share this here, as our lovely community will have kindness, advice and understanding for you.  It sounds like you could do with talking things through, so please don’t hesitate to give the lovely Beyond Blue counsellors a call on 1300 22 4636 or speak to them on webchat here. You could also speak to Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277.  Thanks again for sharing here. We’re sure you’ll hear from some other community members once they spot your thread. We appreciate your kindness and openness in sharing to the forums, and we hope you can be kind to yourself, too while you’re going through this extremely difficult time.   Kind regards,   Sophie M 

[Melrose222]

Thank you for  your kind words … means a lot  to me 

[Juliet_84]

Hi Melrose222,

I think ultimately you just need to make the decision to. You can continue to give that loser power over your life and determine your happiness or you can view it as the “trash taking itself out”, thank your lucky stars that you are no longer with someone who would treat you like that and just move onward and upward. I once read that holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die, although I think it really applies to many negative emotions. And that’s not to discount what you have been through, as someone who has been abused most of their life by people who claimed to love them, I know the damaging effects long-term abuse can have on your self-esteem and feelings about yourself. But the reality is that it says everything about them as a person and nothing about you. They were abusive before you, they’ll be abusive after you. Lean into your friendships, go out, enjoy life, don’t let these people occupy any more of your brain/life than they deserve, which is none. See a psychologist to help you deal with your past traumas so you aren’t leaving too heavily on your children and friends. Happiness doesn’t just come about, you have to choose it and prioritize it. 

[Melrose222]

Thank you Juliet_84 … 

Your  words are comforting and your time to reply means a lot to me. 

I am  seeking a psychologist that deals with trauma to help me deal and ultimately take back my power and happiness ..

Thank you  again 

[Juliet_84]

Hi Melrose222,

I’m glad you found comfort in my words, and I wish you all the best (from one person trying to heal from their trauma to another). You may not have had people cheering you on and treating you the best, so sometimes you just need to be that for yourself. We are infinitely stronger and more resilient than we give ourselves credit for, I truly wish you all the best, and the forums are always here for you 🙂

[Melrose222]

❤️