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Can't eat or sleep after break up

Community Member

My boyfriend left me three days ago, we both love each other very much but we can't be together. His way of dealing with it is to cut all contact off completely, that's not how I deal with things. He's agreed to meet up next week to talk about things but that isn't helping my mind right now. The night he left I hysterically cried for five hours and threw up multiple times, even though I was so exhausted I couldn't settle down enough to sleep so I took a sleeping pill. The second I woke up the next morning I started crying again. I couldn't stop, I managed to get him to talk to me on the phone but he wanted to be left alone. This made me so much worse because I need him. It's been three days since, I haven't eaten a thing except when I tried on the second day I ate one party pie and threw it up instantly. I have been using sleeping pills to sleep every night even though I know I really shouldn't but if I don't I'm up all night stressing and crying. I've been trying to keep myself busy but I have only one friend and she can't be with me all the time and I've tried doing things I love like reading or walking but I can't get my mind to focus on anything else but him. I've just been going to gym multiple times a day to try and tire myself out for bed and distract myself at the same time but it doesn't work.

I can't eat, sleep or stop crying. I'm emotionally and physically sick and exhausted. I don't know what to do.

4 Replies 4

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi vbb, welcome

Believe me it does get easier. The time frame depends on the person.

Its grief. Everyone grieves differently and you need to allow time to heal a bit longer.

You could write things down. It could help. I use poetry.

Someone else might have other ideas.

I've had 4 long term relationships. None have been easy to end. Keeping busy is good but you aren't ready for other activities.

Allow more time. Take care

Tony WK

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member


God I understand where you're coming from. Breakups in the past have absolutely killed me - crying, vomiting, the works. It sucks but really the truth is that time is the only thing that can heal the wounds you're suffering from right now. There's no magic formula to get past the pain but sleeping pills aren't a wise thing to get hooked up on either. From my experiences the best thing is to avoid speaking to the other person because it's just prolonging the inevitable. It's so so hard to do but it's generally the best thing. It also takes a lot of guts but to keep speaking to him will honestly do you no good.

If it's really getting that bad book in to see your GP and speak to a psychologist. Come up with a game plan to get over him. The last breakup I went through sent me into a psych hospital for 6 weeks so trust me, I feel your pain. Also, the beyondblue chat is open 24/7 on 1300 22 4636. Sometimes just having another voice to speak to can help you in a big way. It's good that you're still forcing yourself to do things as a distraction - the worst thing for your mental health is to curl up in a ball and call it quits so kudos.

I'm sorry you're going through this, but remember, it does get better and we're here for you.


Community Member

Hi Veggie,

I thought I'd just post to let you know you're not alone. I understand how you feel. When my wife left me I didn't eat or drink for 2 to 3 days. I kept sipping water and tried eating dry biscuits because I knew I couldn't not eat something. I passed out and ended up in Hospital.

Try and look at the positives. If you're young, he's cut you lose to find someone better.


Community Member

You most certainly are not alone..

I am in the same boat, after 5 years together, a house we built, 2 dogs and 2 cats me and my partner let a build up of tension cause a fight to turn into a mutual agreement that we just don't work anymore.

It's been almost 5 months and each day i regret that decision more and more.

I have had days where i cry so hard i cant make any noice or breathe.

One of the hardest things is to leave someone due topersonality differences. Because there isn't any big event where one or the other the has done something to cause a break down in a relationship. It makes it so much harder to think of why we shouldn't be together.

Every day from the moment i wake up durin work and b4 bed untill my sleeping talblets put me to sleep..

Don't worry girl your nor on ud own