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Breakup - unsure what to do

Community Member

My ex partner of six months broke up with me very suddenly just before Christmas. She has been a victim of childhood abuse at the hands of her mother. As such she had not had any emotionally intimate relationships until she met me (she is 28). I am her first partner in over 3 years and the first person she felt she was truly in love with.

She has been experiencing emotional burnout at work - she has inherited a family business which is failing, and has been putting in 12ish hours a day, sometimes 6 days a week in order to try and survive and keep the business afloat. She has been extremely tired, not exercising correctly and suffering from insomnia.

The break up seemed very rash and odd. I was away on holiday for two weeks, and while I was away she was freaking out with anxiety. She broke up with me over a Facebook message, and subsequently a phone call where I was blasted with a lot of anger and blame for her well being.

I have attempted to reach out to try and have a face to face conversation to try and resolve differences but she has found excuses to push me away and told me I am not hers to worry about anymore.

I am worried about her mental state - obviously I have to maintain a certain level of distance and try to be delicate in any communication attempts moving forward, but there are at the very least some loose ends we need to tie up (she has keys to my house which she has not yet returned).

Unsure how to approach this! It is hard when someone you love is suffering and they have pushed you away or they feel that you are the source of their unhappiness, when you want to be part of a support network for them.

1 Reply 1

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi kmoz90,

Sorry to read of the situation you are in. It does sound like this lady has been under and still is experiencing a lot of stress and anxiety. Unfortunately in that state, we may act irrationally.

It is admirable that you are concerned for her and want to try to assist. This can be a difficult pursuit, even when we live with a person experiencing mental health issues. I know I am very irrational when my anxiety and depression are flaring.

It sounds like you have tried to stay in contact and that has not been appreciated. I am not sure what to suggest there. You could try sending a text message perhaps stating you hope she is safe and that you care.

I'm not sure how you go about getting your keys back. Do you have a mutual friend who could take the keys from her and give them to you?

I agree, it is really hard when someone you love pushes you away. Hope you find some answers and solutions.

Regards from Dools