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Breaking free from a Co-dependent marriage

Community Member

Hi guys, this is my first time posting here. I suffer from severe long term depression and anxiety. I have been with my husband for 12 years, married for 5. We are the only partners we have each had. I am 31.

I have been unhappy for many years. I feel like he is a man-child that I am left to mother. Deep down he is a great kindhearted person but I am not satisfied in our marriage - I feel like we have totally grown apart, I cant talk to him about anything (he tends to have a bit of a tantrum if I say things he doesnt feel like dealing with), our sex life has been incredibly lacking for years and now I have totally lost interest, and in general I just dont feel excited or happy to be around him. I feel stressed, frustrated, on edge, anxious when I am at home.

We have tried couples counselling but he wasn't interested, I have tried for years to tell him how unhappy I am and what I need from him but it falls on deaf ears or changes back to how it was after a week or so. I have tried to end the marriage several times but every time I have, he cries, sobs, tells me he can't live without me and guilts me into changing my mind again.

I am scared that my life is just going to pass me by and I am just going to spend it being miserable because I know I am not getting what I need from the relationship. I want to get out but the guilt leaves me feeling trapped, alone and depressed. I am seeing a counsellor but she says I have a long way to go. I guess I am just wondering if anyone may have some advice?

Thank you

10 Replies 10

Community Member

Hi pixie_,

I am sorry to read what is happening, it sounds very very tough and I just don't know what to say in this situation, you seem to have made up your mind, maybe time apart for the time being is what is needed at this stage, how did he react when you told him to give you space tonight? If you really want out of the relationship, all you can do is be honest and up front with him. There really is no other way I feel.

My best,