Dear Nikki~
I happened to read your post to “J” and really hope that you
are starting to realize that a breakup can be through no fault or lack of your
own. Sadly it is often those who are not steadfast or loving that stray,
leaving the constant and deserving behind. Your ex-partner is now a problem for another, even if she does not realize it yet.
All that hurt, grief and loss takes an enormous toll. Dying
inside is a pretty good description and talking it out is something that is
natural and does help. It is something that is said pretty often but true, you
find out who your friends are in hard times, and who are just acquaintances.
Not everyone can, or is prepared, to deal with another’s great distress.
I guess one has to have had a similar experience to know
that it is the listening and understanding that is important. Offering ‘quick
fixes’ does nothing useful. It might make the person doing the suggesting feel
better about themselves, but simply makes the person in pain feel more
isolated.
I was separated from the one I loved by death, so have an
idea of some of your hurt. My remedy, which I freely admit is not for all, was to
find another a quickly as I could. It worked and we are happily together 20+
years later.
You mentioned you have a son, may I ask what sort of age he
is? How is he coping with this?
Is there anyone, parent or other family perhaps, who is there
for you now? Please talk here as often as you would like, we do understand and care
Croix
