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Better off without me

Community Member
My depression and my anxiety is now hurting the only person I care about. He is physically ill because of me. And today was the first time he outright blamed me and told me to stop.

Of course straight after that I panicked. And things have gotten worse. It’s a constant cycle and I will never be free of this.

Most of the time I’m too scared to ask for help. And whenever I have there’s never any actionable advice. It’s all platitudes, hippy bullshit and impossible statements.

It’s such a cliche to say the ones you love will be better off without you but in this case i think it’s true.
3 Replies 3

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Crowley22

Welcome to the forums and for having the courage to post too!

Im sorry about the delay in you receiving a response..we are usually pretty quick.

Its sad that you feel that your loved ones would be better off without you Crowley. Being scared to ask for help is common so you are just like everyone else with these awful depressive and anxiety feelings

May I ask you how often your anxiety has an effect on your life? Do you experience anxiety attacks?

I understand where you are coming from as I used to have chronic anxiety and it was horrible. Because I didnt get treatment early the anxiety became worse and morphed into depression...ugh

Im not sure how long you have had anxiety/depression Crowley yet the counseling does take a long time and sometimes years. There isnt a quick fix. Recovery requires a strong will to heal......buckets of determination and time. The more frequent the counseling (even from your GP depending on the severity) the better you will feel and if the doc recommends meds they give us a solid platform on which we can heal using the counseling

It can be hard work yet we have to want to let people help us help ourselves as a starting point

you are not alone in any way Crowley....I hope you can post back when its convenient for you 🙂

my kind thoughts


Community Member

Dear Crowley22,

It is so difficult to manage anxiety and it is also difficult to support someone suffering from it.

Occasionally things get a little overwhelming and people can say/do things they don't really mean.

Do you and the person you care about have a support network? Somewhere you can go to get information - such as this website - or have you tried talking to the call line? The person you care about can call that number too and that may assist them to understand anxiety and how to assist you in different ways.

Most of the time when I am frustrated by my partner's anxiety and depression, it is because I am lost and don't know how to help.

Coming to this forum is a great way to get advice and there are many other supports for you and your loved one to get you through this.

Community Member

Hi Crowley22,

Welcome to the forums! They are a great place where everyone is non-judgmental and it is a safe place for all to express their thoughts and emotions.

What Blonduy and Lost4eva have stated above is really good advice so I will just add my 2cents in based on my experiences dealing with depression and anxiety for years.

I suffered from severe depression and social anxiety from 2011-2017. I am really encouraged that you are using these forums to portray and express your thoughts and feelings. This is really important and good to see. I know this because I never used to and it made me spiral deeper and deeper.

Do you see a psychiatrist or a psychologist atm? You are able to get free sessions through a mental health plan which would be provided by your GP. Like Crowley mentioned, it is a long road to recovery but for me it was all worth it in the end. From my experiences, the sooner you start receiving professional assistance the better. Find a health professional you are super comfortable talking to and opening up to and this will be a good starting point. Try and persist with these sessions even though it may hurt and be difficult to do so at times.

You also mentioned that your good friend "blamed you" today for the first time and told you to "stop". Your friend could have been saying that out of frustration and it could have been a spur of the moment sort of thing. I would give them a bit of space to calm down and relieve some steam. My family members during this time were inflicted with immense stress and I put a lot of unnecessary pressure on them. I decided to get help and use all available support networks available (youtube,forums similar to these forums, your GP, friends etc) and started to attempt to get better.

Stay strong and it will get better. Sleep well, eat well and try exercise amongst other things. I look forward to hearing from you.