Anxiety, baby and relationship breakdown
I am a long time sufferer of Generalised Anxiety and Depression.
A year ago I started a relationship with a Canadian woman living in Australia on a student visa. We had some issues mostly relating to my anxiety and problems with alcohol but we forged a strong and loving relationship. In January of this year we found out she was pregnant and we decided to keep the baby and either live in Australia together or Canada. This unknown caused me significant anxiety thinking she could return home whenever she chose with our unborn child and I would have few rights to see it.
In time my constant worries pushed her away and she returned to Canada to finish her pregnancy and have the baby there allowing me time to work on my demons. The plan always was to sort things out and become a family.
She has now been gone nearly a month and it has been very up and down. One minute she wants the world with me and then the next nothing. I gave her passwords to my social media accounts to ease the anxiety she had about what I was doing in her absence and a few nights ago she saw 2 girls appear in instagram that I had one night stands with in the past. I had looked them up for a reason relating to my anxiety and one of them potentially being pregnant but she is certain that I am cheating! I never have cheated and I never will.
She has blocked me off all forms of social media, has told her family I cheated, will change her mobile number and said I will never see the child. I am innocent of what she is claiming but nothing I say can change her mind. She has done things like this previously and has calmed down later but this time feels different.
This is putting my anxiety through the roof and I dont know what to do! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
Hi and welcome to our caring forum community Franklin;
As a woman, I don't know if my input would be helpful, but you obviously need support; your situation seems really emotionally charged and confusing.
I'm so very sorry you've ended up feeling as you do, especially with GAD and depression. I can't imagine the strain it'd be putting on you as it would challenge even the most mentally healthy person to the hilt.
I think prioritising issues might be a good start. It's overwhelming to the senses cropping everything together and trying to deal with them all at once.
I hope your med's have been reviewed since this all happened. If not, a trip to the GP might be in order, not to mention catching up with your psychologist. There's also the option of organisations like 'Relationships Australia' who might have ideas on how to quell this situation and turn it around.
Please try to ease your negative expectations ok. Looking at ways to lift things out of the drama would be more productive.
As a woman, I can assure you hormones may increase intensity of problems during pregnancy. In my experience, a pregnant woman is dealing with many issues during this time. It's her first child and this in itself is daunting.
From her perspective, seeing other women on your social media would be absolutely devastating after what's happened. You may want to pull back your defensiveness and worry for a while to appreciate her response as a normal progression to this problem.
In the meantime, get some quality advice from professionals. This is a daunting exercise for both of you. I'm hoping she has the same opportunity to speak with someone about her role in your life as well.
I hope I've in some small way helped. I'd love to see things work out for the best all round.
Kind and compassionate thoughts;