PTSD triggers and stigma

[PamelaR]

Hi all

There have been a couple of posts recently about negativity towards people who are triggered by events and go into a PTSD response which results in anxiety.

I think there is a view out there by people who do not understand what Post Traumatic Stress that 'an industry is being promoted' by psychologists and others.

How awful is that! The same can be said about a range of illness that have been diagnosed over the past 50 years or more. The scientific evidence and research that has happened in the past 50 years is so advanced that IMO people are afraid.

IMO, it's much easier for people to live 'in ignorance' than to really look at what's happening in their environment. I truly believe PTSD falls in this category.

It is so easy to say, it's 'all in your head'. Well, yeah, that maybe but that does not devalue what is happening for people. Nor does it mean that it's 'stupid', 'not real', 'not happening' etc. Yes, things do happen in your head, they can be good or not so good. That's why we have mental health plans.

What I really want to debunk here is - that PTSD and it's triggers are STUPID. PTSD and triggers are real and have lasting effects both for the person who is experiencing them as do people who provide support to those people.

You will find some talk about complex PTSD along with 'normal' PTSD. I'm not making any distinctions between the two, though from what I've read in the forums there is a difference. This thread is for people who get triggered and go into anxiety. Doesn't matter what the trigger is.

Your triggers are real. They occur at times when you least expect them. No one else can say to you that you are stupid. Responses to triggers do happen. Triggers can:

• set off body responses, e.g. heart palpitations, sweating.
• be through sight, smell, sound, touch, feelings
• bring back memories of trauma
• cause intense physical and emotional reactions
• cause muscle tension.

Would love to hear what others think. Please have your say. My words are only from my experience. What is your experience?

Kind regards

PamelaR

[broken_toy]

Hi Pam

My PTSD was triggered recently when I felt threatened in a potential work situation, and I didnt realise it until after I aggressively confronted a new friend (of about a year), and my potential new boss.

I tried to explain my situation to them both, but dont feel I provided much insight, and I feel I have given them more reason for concern. I was too afraid to mention my PTSD to my potential employer.

I feel overwhelmed with shame and guilt, as these people did not deserve my outbursts.

I havent been triggered like this in years, and my reaction has shaken my faith that I was improving.

What can I do to make things right with my friend and potential new boss.

I am lost.

[startingnew]

Hello Broken Toy and welcome.

i dont have much advice, Pammy is pretty good though!

Triggers can come so unexpectedly and throw us into all sorts of reactions, often we do so without even thinking about it. PTSD can be really hard to navigate. Even though you were triggerred this time, it doesnt mean your not improving, everyone has off days and set backs too. try not to be too hard on yourself.

With your friend, it might be worth organising a cup of coffee either out at a cafe or even at your own home and apologising and also explaining a little about what happened to you in previous times and that you were triggerred unexpectedly. Even meantion PTSD. talking calmly and trying to explain yourself when your not upset can work quite well. possibly the same for your boss too, ask if you can speak in the office and have a chat to them as well. Might be worth a go.

[PamelaR]

Hello Broken Toy
Starting New - thank you for dropping in and giving Broken Toy such wonderful words of support. Onya!!

So sorry Broken Toy it's taken me so long to get back to you. I've been off line for almost 2 weeks now due to the winter bug that's going around.
I do feel for you. PTSD can be diabolical can’t it? And yes, totally understand when you think all is okay. That things have improved, then years later, up it springs to bite you.

What I’ve learnt over the past 8 years is. PTSD will always be there, it’s in how I manage it that’s important. Recognition of triggers and behaviours is an excellent start. So well done to you - you know what’s happened.

Making things ‘better’ after an outburst can be difficult. I spent years and years going around apologising to people for my outbursts. Not sure what people thought, but my hubby seems to have survived okay. My outbursts are almost non existent these days. Having said that - I did have one today. Not sure of the trigger. Hubby just smiled when I said - ‘over reacted didn’t I’.

When I was working, I confided in my boss about my PTSD. I actually had to because of my time off work.

It all comes down to trust. For me, trust was and still is a big thing. I feel I need to control the situation, so therefore, if they know things about me that could have potential consequences for me, then that’s not in my best interests. Well, I had to overcome that fear, thought and panic. I took the plunge and talked. I was extremely lucky to have an incredibly supportive boss. In some ways it had to do with her partner having severe anxiety and depression. So she understood. So lucky.

It took me a long time to confide in other colleagues and friends though.

There is no easy way of talking to others about yourself. Starting New offered some good ideas. Coffee is a good place to start.

Perhaps before doing anything - go through in your mind what you want out of the meeting? Have ideas you want to talk about written down so you don’t forget. Be very clear about how much you want to disclose. Remember once you disclose that there will be a PTSD response. Be prepared, be aware this will happen and have strategies in place to manage this. Even talk about this with your friend and potential boss.

Hope everything goes okay for you. I’d like to hear how you go if you want to share.

Kind regards
PamelaR

[Bella001]

Hello PamelaR and all on here.

I have had a read through and it has been really helpful for me to hear how this is affecting other people as well. PamelaR your first post and also the post about how to cope i found really beneficial to how im feeling at the moment.

Just Sara, your post i could really resonate with as well esp with guilt, shame and embarrassment. i dont talk about my trauma except to professionals and need to know unless i find it neccessary as i want to move forward now. But if i get anxious more so around men, or 'angry' or overly dominent women, the usual response was why is she being irrational, or why is she acting like that. it felt very judgemental where as maybe if they offerred a little support it mightve been better. so now if i see others anxious or needing help i try to offer my support. I really loved hearing about the lady who showed compassion too, we need more people like her in this world!

Thank you to everyone who has contributed here, it really has been so helpful.

[Srfr]

Responses and the reactions to them seem to be what makes PTSD so hard to cope with. My experience has been that I go through most of the reactions you mentioned above & also then have to cope with my hyper vigilance toward others, in the vain hope that somehow I can mask these symptoms, so I don’t become further traumatised by others’ judgement/stigma/opinion.

a bitter circle!

good to hear your comments and I believe sometimes people who don’t understand are so very quick to dismiss anything that doesn’t sit with their understanding.

thanks so much for your insights

[Srfr]

PamelaR

Am learning to let go. Have been finding ‘practice makes perfect’, or should I say - even though my symptoms make it difficult, I’m still pushing myself out there to be around others, even though I’m terrified of triggers!

have heard it said, “we have no right knowing what others think”, and half the time people are very self absorbed anyway! So, I find this helps a bit

Bye for now

[Srfr]

PamelaR

its been my experience that shame is a big part of it. Having had a family member who knew of my issues, using them against me, caused another set of triggers which would probably be called social anxiety. This then set up shame, now after therapy I understand the problem was not with me alone.

I think sometimes people can be manipulative for their own agenda and if they see a little crack in the armour they will go for it, using it to their own benefit.

sometimes though, it can be genuine lack of knowledge about what PTSD, or it’s other branches, are.

Thanks and peace to you

[PamelaR]

Hi ALL
It’s been several months since I popped up here.

I'd like to thank some new posters.

Thank you Bella for posting and sharing your thoughts. Much appreciated. Glad to hear you found this thread useful. It's good to know you're not alone in how you are affected and feel.

I'm impacted by shame, guilt and embarrassment too. It took years to open up to, not just my psych or doctor. Having said that I’m still not a great one for ‘talking about it’. I’m much more inclined to curl up on my bed under covers and only peek my head out when I really need to. It’s more to do with how I’ve learnt to cope, to recharge my spent batteries and to face the world again.

Thank you Srfr for posting and sharing your thoughts. Much appreciated.

Don’t you just dislike the hyper vigilance? While it's good the body is vigilant, just not so much heay? It’s one of my first indicators I’m triggered. E.g. I double check doors and windows around the house. If I step outside I think someone is peering into the yard. It’s worse when shopping, it feels like everyone is looking at me and thinking terrible things about me.

In terms of disclosing for fear of stigma, while I do disclose I must confess I’m pretty sure the person will be supportive. Eg I’ve known the person awhile, heard their conversations about people with illness (either physical or mental) etc. In this way, I’ll never get an awful response will I? This is all part of my learning to cope with the world around me.

Good on you Srfr for learning to let go! That’s awesome to hear. It isn’t easy is it? Especially when one is frightened by triggers. I can relate to you very much in that respect. I’m going through that at the moment. I was triggered about a month ago. The fall out is getting worse, but I don’t know what was triggered. I keep telling myself I don’t want to know. I’ve had enough. So my stubbornness has kicked in, so here I am high wired, getting by on little sleep. My psych tried to help me yesterday shake loose whatever it is that’s rattling around inside my head and body. I’ll get there.

I’m sorry Srfr that some of your family members are not as supportive as they could be. Perhaps as you say it’s because they don’t know about PTSD. Is there anything you can do to help them learn?

Thanks once again to everyone who contributes to this thread. It’s awesome to see.


Kind regards
PamelaR

[Guest_922]

This is a really interesting thread. I have PTSD. I chose not to tell my employer as they used my trauma - medical emergency as reason for not giving me a short term promotion 8 months after the event. I decided not to tell them about my PTSD because I feel it would impact my opportunities down the track.

For the most part I am in control of my trauma. When I talk to work colleagues about my illness that resulted in loosing my child and nearly dying myself - I can do this calmly and feel in control of the dialogue. It doesn’t surprise me and I don’t feel like I’m right back there. Most of the time though people don’t ask and those who do geniunely care about me.

However, triggers for me can be reading an article about the stimga of loss, experience or being in a similar space to moments where I could have made a different choice that may have saved my baby’s life. I find these things trigger an emotional response - they describe how I felt in the moment and take me right back there that It’s like I can see it all playing out again and I can’t move, scream etc. sometimes my bones feel so cold and I tense up. Nearly every time I just cry uncontrollably.

I have been having regular sessions with my psychologist to unpack the different memory’s that flood back and also develop strategies to bring myself back to the present. The strategies have been really useful are Telling myself that this is not happening to me now, This happened in the past and I am now safe. It’s followed by listing of objects around me and then planting my feet into the ground and focusing on breathing. It doesn’t take me long now to regain control, but it does exhaust me. I feel an incredible sense of tiredness after an episode. Similar to the tiredness when I was ill and I can’t expand on what just happened as I can easily slip back into the trauma at that point. I have two work colleagues who know and are very supportive. My family know and are sympathetic but I have also been told that I just need to not get lost in it and move on. So that sort of tells me they don’t really understand what PTSD is.

[PamelaR]

Hi all

PTSD triggers and stigma, yes it is alive and well in the community.

Thank Elaria for sharing your story. My heart goes out to you. I understand what you are saying about your employment situation. Choosing not to tell your employer is a good move when it is clear they are not supportive of people with mental health illnesses. Sometimes I think we've made advances in the world, and at other times not.

You have learnt some very good coping mechanisms for talking about your trauma. It is very pleasing to hear. I have done similar to you in the past. I used to like being in control of the conversation, being unemotional. For me, it was important. I had to show strength, resilience, to fit the 'role' I had built for myself as a working woman. Interestingly, my colleagues never raised questions about my traumas or life experiences, it was all 'very civilised' (?). However, my immediate boss did know but never questioned. Similar as time went on I did reveal to a couple of other close colleagues. Again, they never questioned or spoke about it.

That part about your bones feeling cold and tensing up is creepy isn't it? It's something to do with bones, muscles, tendons remembering the trauma. Not just the mind or brain remembering. I find it can take weeks for my physical body to recover after it's been triggered. People who haven't experienced something like that find it very difficult to understand and look at me strangely. Though I don't tell many people.

I'm not sure their not understanding or looking at me strangely is 'stigmatising' though. It's just hard to comprehend when they haven't experienced it.

Again, thank you for sharing your story here. You have had a very difficult time. You talked about making decisions that you would like to change to save your baby, I couldn't begin to imagine what it would be like to have to make those decisions.

Keep reaching out here, if and when you want to Elaria. You are not alone.

Kind regards

PamelaR