How to help husband who is an alcoholic and getting violent?

[Sari_07]

Hi, I am new to this forum. wondering if anyone can guide me to the right direction.
My husband has been drinking heavily (2-5 bottles of wine in 7 days) since a couple of years and everytime he drinks he is a different person. he gets very angry, very emotional about everything or every minute things. He would scream and sometimes also get violent making me leave the house. He can talk about something that happened in past or a decision he or i would have taken which might have been wrong and belives that it is what is making him suffer. He would blame everything on me and my decisions.
I do love him or may be I am just trying to be a loyal wife and trying to help a man who I loved deeply some time ago. I dont want put him in any danger or expose him that ruins his career or image in public. I just dont understand at this stage what step to take and how to ask for help safely.
he doesnt agree to contacting or talking to a doctor GP, we have been trying since last 5 months. i take appointments but it gets wasted..
any suggestions please?
thanks,

[geoff]

Hello Sari, my apologies for not getting back to you, I'm sorry for my mistake.

It seems as though he's in denial, and I say this because I was in the same position when suffering from depression and also for him to consume alcohol so he can to 'cope' with difficulties or to avoid feeling bad, is another reason why he drinks, but to refuse to see his doctor/psych is because he doesn't want to be told to stop if that was to happen.

It's not that you're too innocent at all, there comes a point in time where you're tired of trying to help him and tend to avoid the situation because you know whatever you say, nothing will be noticed.

The kids may only see him drinking at an early stage in the day and think nothing of it, it's how he is later on that you have to cope with and this is where the difficulty begins.

I have met people who were alcoholics but don't drink anymore, just like I am, and they have been able to function quite well in life, so it is possible, but it's when this will happen.

I hope you are still reading your thread and please get back to us.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[geoff]

Hello Hereforsupport and Tusphi, I agree and like what you have both said and if there is a shed or garage involved here then there's the possibility of grog being hidden somewhere you can't see, so not only is he drinking in the house but in the shed, a cupboard drinker, that maybe what you are unaware of, hiding the alcohol early in the morning so it keeps cool.

To have you sleep on the couch while pregnant is inexcusable and if any demands are made whilst being intoxicated and he won't stop drinking and definitely won't get any help, then separation in any way needs to be carried out.

An alcoholic won't stop unless he's worried about his health and been told by a doctor or they have actually made up their mind and going into rehab will only work if they really want to stop, if however, they are pushed into it by any means, then it could be just a waste of time and money, because as soon as they leave, it's straight back to the bottle.

Best wishes.

Geoff.