Feeling like I can't and won't come to terms with it

[Parity]

Knowing that some people have had truly horrible things happen to them it feels like my problem is tiny in comparison. Nevertheless, I'm finding it really hard to deal with. Recently my dog bit a friend of mine. He got a fright and snapped and hurt him. Everyone has been great about it, especially my injured friend but I blame myself for not being able to prevent it from happening. I re-live it over and over (it happened right in front of me) and haven't been able to get to sleep. Everyone says it's not my fault but I can't shake it. I can't cope with the fact that I couldn't stop it. If anyone has had anything similar happen I'd love it if you could share it. Feeling confused and highly anxious and not sure how to come to terms with it.

[white knight]

Hi Parity, welcome

"Prevention us better than cure" as they say. But if you don't know what you have to prevent, in this case an attack by your dog, then his could you prevent it?

Anxuety and worry results often in unrealistic thoughts. This usually requires therapy and be ready for the long hsul of this treatment plus medication and regular GP care.

So start with discussions with your GP.

Tony WK

[romantic_thi3f]

Hey Parity,

One of the key things with trauma and depression is that people often say "oh I'm overreacting" or "I don't deserve help" or "I should be able to deal with it myself".

I'm sorry that your friend got bitten by a dog; I'm glad that they weren't severely hurt. It sounds like it was a bad accident and not your fault. Being a dog lover and with dogs of my own, I can definitely see how that would be scary to watch and how you would feel responsible.

One of the things I've learned about trauma is that it's not about the severity of what happened, but about how what's happened has affected you. Trauma is personal; what might causes you trauma might not cause someone else, and vice versa. There is no need to compare stories or think that it's tiny in comparison, because it doesn't matter and it's not helpful. What's happened has happened, and although you can't change it - what you can change is how it's going to affect you in the future.

I hope that you feel comfortable going to the GP and talking about this and strongly encourage you to do so.

[pipsy]

Hi Parity. With so much bad publicity, plus dogs being 'put down' over this, naturally you are worried. It sounds like it was unavoidable and accidental. Your friend has been totally understanding, but your fear could be, your dog has bitten once, could it happen again. Unfortunately, accidents are part of everyday life. Children fall into swimming pools regardless of them being fenced to prevent this. Talking to a therapist could help as they might possibly 'walk ' you through the accident to see if you could have prevented it. I doubt you could have, but with professional guidance in reliving it, you may be able to accept that it was an accident and you couldn't have prevented it. I suggest, you see your Dr, tell him you need to see a therapist, and explain why.

Lynda