Anxiety due to Covid 19 and I've used all my sessions on my Mental Health Plan

[Mara56]

Hi,

My PTSD was triggered several months ago. As a consequence of this my anxiety level has been through the roof. At the beginning of this year I started seeing my psychologist weekly, as I didn't feel safe. Consequently I used up my mental health plan fairly quickly. Finances are really tight at the moment, so my therapist has given me a reduction in my fee which I am grateful for but also feel bad about. I've always paid my own way. In the midst of this the Covid 19 isolation happened. The stress it has caused me is enormous. I'm coping with the isolation, it's the financial side of things that is worrying me. That and the fact that one of my children is a teacher. I have lost a child and I am constantly frightened of losing my remaining child. With recent talks of lifting restrictions, my anxiety went through the roof again. I just wish this pandemic would end. In relation to the mental health plan, when the Govt initially announced funding for telehealth psychology appointments, I was hopeful they would extend the sessions on a plan. I totally understand that the pandemic will trigger mental health issues for people who may never have had them in the past. But I feel like for those of us already dealing with issues.... well I know Covid 19 has pushed me to the edge.

Sorry for venting, I'm just feeling very frustrated and anxious at the minute. It has taken me years to be able to confront my past, and due to my financial situation, I have had push out my sessions.

I know I'm not the only one feeling it at the moment. I also know that there are many more worse off. I just needed to vent what's in my head, in the vain hope I might get some sleep tonight.

Thank you for reading this.

[Mara56]

Hi Em,

Thank you for your lovely response to my post. It helps heaps when I’m in a dark place, to know that someone is listening.

Thank you also for your kind words in relation to my son. My children are my world. Without a doubt the toughest thing I’ve ever gone through was losing my son. I miss him terribly.

I feel I’ve had a major breakthrough since my last session and for the first time I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

I appreciate your kind words re: the sale of the house. We nearly sold it back in March and then the Covid lockdown happened and the buyer pulled out. I’m trying not to let the stress and anxiety overtake me, which it has up till this week. I don’t like chaos, a legacy of the PTSD. I hope pray it sells soon. I really just want to get out of this house.

I totally understand what your saying about not trusting anyone, I don’t either. And crying.......... I couldn’t even cry when my son died. I hate having PTSD but understand why I have it. I’m working at trying to accept the legacy I’ve been left with. I’ve spent my whole life, battling flashbacks, migraines, insomnia etc. This year I’ve been trying to stop fighting with myself, and also working on validation. I think it’s finally settling. At least I’m cautiously optimistic.

I’m pleased the helpline helped you. I got close to calling one a couple of weeks ago but chickened out. Good on you for being brave enough to reach out.

I am so grateful to my psych. We have been on this journey for a very long time. I had some bad experiences with previous counsellors, which complicated the process for me. Then my ex-husband and I booked an appointment with the psych I’m currently seeing, for a couple session. Half way through that first session I knew he was the one who could help me. So grateful to have found him.

I know how lonely it can feel dealing with PTSD, especially for women. I use to work with a lot of ex-servicemen who had PTSD and they seemed to support each other. Your the first woman I’ve spoken personally with, who has it too. It helps know you’re not the only one.

Feel free to chat with me if you wish to talk to someone who gets what you’re experiencing. I might take a day or two to respond but I promise I’ll get back to you.

Take care

Mara