What happened doesn't have to define me

[Mia001]

Hi everyone!

I'm new here. Not really sure what to do. Where do I start? Any suggestions?

Mia

[White_Rose]

Hello Mia

What good news. I take it you like the new GP. This is so important when looking after your mental health to have someone you trust to help with the medical side. Antidepressants typically take up to six weeks to have the full effect although you can expect to feel changes in a shorter time. Side effects can also take a few days to develop. If you find you are experiencing any difficulty please go back to see the GP. It's also good to keep a record of what you experience and when. Many side effects will disappear in a few weeks.

A job interview. That's wonderful. I will be waiting for news about how you got on. Good luck.

I am happy for you that returning to work felt good. Sometimes we just need a break from routine to help us feel refreshed.

How are you going with your self harm thoughts? Being away with other activities has probably helped you think in different ways. Do you see your counsellor soon? Yes, there can be a bit of a wait for the suicide call back service but most times I find I get through quickly. There are probably times when it seems everyone will phone in. Please try again if you get upset or worried. Did you talk to the GP about your thoughts? I do hope so.

It's lovely you appear so much more positive.

Mary

[Mia001]

Hi everyone,

Amanda - I’m glad that my post made you happy; that makes me happy too. 😊

I’m really hoping that there won’t be any side effects as it’s been all good so far. I guess I’ll just have to be patient and wait and see.

My counsellor has training (again!) 🙁 so I won’t see her next week; it will be the week after.

I’m still having the thoughts but not as often and I’m managing it okay at the moment. My GP asked a lot of questions so she has a brief overview of my life and what’s going on. I did tell her about my thoughts and the reason I’m going to counselling. My GP asked for a report from my counsellor so that will cover anything I’ve missed, if it’s important.

Mia

[White_Rose]

Hello Mia

A lovely positive post. Well done.

It is important that your GP knows what is going on in the other areas of your life. I often think of a GP as a spider sitting in the middle of a web and holding all the strings together. That is the very important role they play, holding all the strings and being aware of what is happening in your life. That way they can take the appropriate action, such as referring you to a specialist when an illness crops up. I hope your counsellor will write the report. Everything you discuss with your counsellor is important.

How did the interview go? Hope it was successful. When do you start your course? I must admit I have forgotten the actual date but I think you will start soon.

Mary

[Mia001]

Hi Mary,

Thanks for your reply to my post on the other thread. 😊

My counsellor has said that she would be happy to talk to my GP. I’m going to ask her to write the report when I see her next week.

The interview was great! The lady who interviewed me was the deputy and she seemed nice. Very relaxed and easy to talk to. She has said that she’ll give me a go and put me on a trial. The next step is a medical which I’m booked in for tomorrow. I’ve heard this aged care facility has a good reputation so I really hope that everything works out.

The Diploma of Nursing starts in 3 weeks, at the beginning of May. Not long to go! I’m hoping to book my P’s test for next week or the week after.

Mia

[White_Rose]

Hello Mia

Wow, everything happening at once. Definitely time to get your driving licence. Do you think you can manage the study along with the new job? Many congratulations for getting the job.

I belong to a pastoral care team and every week we go to an aged care facility. The people there are so lovely to talk to and some keep us in stitches with their observations of life. I think you will enjoy yourself as well as gain great satisfaction from your work.

Mary

[Guest8901]

Dear Mia. Sorry it took me a while to get back to you.

What great news! So pleasing to hear that the nursing home of your choice has agreed to give you a work trial. You will be fantastic, I have no doubt at all.

Hope the medical went well yesterday. Will you continue your fast food job at the same time? Could be difficult, so are you able to take some leave or something? Just until you can confirm you have a permanent job to go to.

With your nursing studies starting soon too, you will be flat out. Please do try not to take on too much. Go gently.

Are you booked in for your driving test next week?

Amanda. 💝

[Mia001]

Hi everyone,

My first shift at the aged care facility will be on Tuesday! I’m so excited! A little bit nervous too. It’s scary starting a new job and there’s more responsibility.

So much is happening all at once. I’m worried that I’m not going to be able to cope with all the work and study. I’m still struggling with my thoughts and being generally unmotivated. The last few days have been an effort.

I’m going to try and split my working hours between the 2 jobs so that I’m not overdoing it. My manager has suggested that I could take leave if I need to. I’m going to ask for morning shifts in fast food, as my shifts in aged care start late afternoon.

No, I haven’t booked the driving test yet. Still procrastinating. 🙄

[White_Rose]

Hello Mia

I think when you have a couple of things go right it is almost as emotional as when they go wrong. you have these lovely things happen and it can feel overwhelming. So one step at a time. Do one thing then move to the next. Try not to plan too far ahead as you will start to enter the realm of what if.

It's the same for MH, one step at a time. When I was first diagnosed with a major depression I felt it was the end of the world. I had no idea anyone could feel so bad and there not be a cure. The psychiatrist I saw made me see him twice a week because he was so worried. However, it wasn't until I started to get well that I realised how ill I had been. What I meant to say is the only way I get through much of this time was by setting limits to what I would do and think. Sometimes it was only half an hour and then I would rethink what to do.

So it can be done even though it is the such a painful time. Keep your eyes fixed on what you want to achieve such as passing your driving test, doing well in your new job and doing well with your studies. Oh yes, and doing well by writing in here. 😊

Mary

[Mia001]

Hi Mary,

The last few days have been tough. I don’t what happened to me on Saturday, I couldn’t stop thinking about hurting myself. I was exhausted and in so much pain I didn’t care anymore. Pulled it together enough to chat with Lifeline.

Last night I watched a movie with my family and that triggered my thoughts I think. I chatted with Lifeline again and went to sleep. I’m still tired this morning but I’m ok and safe so that’s the main thing. I’ll be starting work in an hour.

I know I should be kind to myself, but I hate myself for being so pathetic and not trying harder. I don’t know how I’m going to do this. Hope the meds start to kick in soon.

Mia

[White_Rose]

Mia, never think of yourself as pathetic. Nothing you have said here is pathetic. Hurt and in pain yes, but that happens to everyone no matter how much we try to avoid it.

Are you not trying hard? I would be very surprised. You are a constant source of joy to me to see you getting on with your life. I know it's tough but so are you. Getting on with your job and soon to be new job, enrolling in a course to get a job you are going to enjoy, passing your driving test (I know, but it sounds good and I'm sure you will pass).

Self loathing is a common feature of depression. Is that why you have harmed yourself in the past? Stopping yourself doing this is a huge challenge and you have come through it. I believe drawing on yourself with a red pen can help but not sure. Perhaps you can check this out with your counsellor. Please try to see yourself as others see you, a lovely young lady with a great heart and a willingness to help others. Now that's got to be worth a smile.

I find films and other programs can set me off. I watched the games yesterday and saw the poor man who collapsed near the end of the marathon. I could not believe the people watching did not help him instead of taking photos. I thought it disgusting. And of course I got upset which triggered other thoughts etc etc etc. We need to have a strategy to manage these moments. Again why not ask your counsellor.

Be as kind to yourself as you can.

Mary