What happened doesn't have to define me

[Mia001]

Hi everyone!

I'm new here. Not really sure what to do. Where do I start? Any suggestions?

Mia

[Mia001]

Hi Mary,

There's a reason I haven't driven for a while. Its a long story... but let's just say I ended up on the wrong side of road and my Dad won't let me drive again until I have lessons. Something that I have been putting off and putting off and I'm not even sure why. I guess I'm just scared of making a mistake. Driving is a huge responsibility. It only takes one small error and someone could get hurt. I'm a perfectionist and generally too hard on myself. I set the standards high and feel pressured to meet them. I compare yourself to everyone else and feel that you are never going to get there. I guess I'm just not everyone else, and it's going to take a bit longer. It's hard when I'm constantly reminded as people keep asking why I haven't got my P's yet. I don't really have answer. I just don't want to drive. Maybe it's because I'm not naturally good at it. The other problem is that I don't deal well with people who are angry. So when I make a mistake and my parents get scared and start yelling at me, I lose it. I just shut down and I can't think. I guess it's something I just have to learn to deal with.

I had a driving lesson yesterday which went well. Session with my counsellor was moved to tomorrow 😞

I'm tired and feeling a bit down.

Talk later,

Mia

[Guest_5218]

Hi Beautiful.

Just wondering how you got along with your counsellor session today. I know you were feeling pretty down and tired yesterday. A little concerned for you is all. Would love to hear from you when you're able.

Sherie xx

[Mia001]

Hi Sherie,

Still a bit down and tired. I've got a busy weekend ahead of me too! I'm working today and then going to an event tonight. Tomorrow I'm helping to run an all-day event, this includes 2 brief interviews. So a bit scary!

My appointment was okay. I'm just having problems talking about it. I basically said very little for the entire session. It's frustrating! There's all this stuff I want to say but I just can't make myself speak. My counsellor suggested that I write it down as I think if it during the week. Then I can email or give it to her at the next session. I'm going to try that.

Fulltime and part time work has come up at local cafe. I'm going to hand in my resume this afternoon after work. I would love the full time position, but that might not work because of counselling. I'll see what happens.

I probably won't be back on the forums until Sunday.

Hugs,

Mia

[Guest_5218]

Hi Mia. Sounds like you have plenty of distractions occuring for you over the coming few days. Certainly enough to keep you busy. Hope you're not trying to do too much.

Yes I know what you mean about wanting to say stuff, but being unable to. The only way I could when I was having therapy, was it write it all down and give it to my psych to read. That worked for me, and I expect it will for you too. Its really hard saying the things we need to, almost like ripping something out of our inner core. You're doing great though. You've come a fair way already, so please give yourself due credit.

Oh wow, thats opportune timing! I wish you every ounce of luck with your job application at the local cafe. Yeah the full time position would be great, but there again, the part time position may be better for you right now. As for managing to fit in work with counselling, I'm sure something could be worked out. Sessions during a lunch break or before or after work perhaps? Surely you'll have days off work anyway. No problem is insurmountable.

I too will be away from this morning, and likely until Sunday morning. I'll catch up with you upon both our returns.

Have a great weekend. I'll be thinking of you. Big hug.

Sherie xx

[White_Rose]

Hello Mia

Things have moved on in the past couple of days. Did you get a chance to look at your résumé with the psych? I hope you delivered your application. Good luck, I hope it works out. Working full time in the hospitality industry means shift work quite often. Once you start they should give you a roster and you will be able to make appointments with your psych around work hours.

I do agree that writing your thoughts down is a great help. If the discussion gets a bit overwhelming you can ask to change the subject. This is always your choice when you feel not ready to go further. There is always tomorrow.

I can understand your fears about driving. I felt the car was driving me and I could only hang on and hope we got wherever in one piece. It is a matter of constant practice which I imagine is the point behind making drivers with L plates log those number of hours. It's as much about what happens in your head as well as moving your hands and feet.

Comparing yourself to others is always fatal. One because there will always be someone who can do something better than you no matter how good you are, and consequently you will be better than some people. Two, you have no way of knowing what goes on inside someone's head. That person may be shaking in their shoes and forcing themselves to carry out a task. On the outside there is the duck calmly floating round the pond and underneath their feet are paddling like mad.

However I am glad you know driving is a responsibility as many new drivers carry on as though they have the road to themselves. You will get there because you need to drive and that purpose will carry you to your P plates no matter how long it takes.

Enjoy your weekend. I have had a lazy week for some reason but I do feel better for it. Now if I could just catch the sleep fairy...

Mary

[Mia001]

Hi,

This weekend has been busy, but fun! I'm a bit tired now though. 😊

Sherie - "Its really hard saying the things we need to, almost like ripping something out of our inner core." That's exactly what it feels like! It's like you're being torn apart inside. I guess it's not supposed to be easy though.

The Cafe job isn't going to work out. Two of my friends recommended I didn't as there are some serious issues with the new management.

Mary - I haven't looked at the resume yet. It's probably something that will happen this week. I'm not really sure. It's probably more important that we deal with my feelings and how I'm going at the moment.

I hope you get some sleep!

Take care,

Mia

[james1]

Hey mia,

Raymond Carver's short stories in this collection seem to be more like those slice of life type things. I like them because he basically gives you a character in a setting and just writes about that. There's no story, but there's a lot of story threads. So it's unsatisfying but good? haha

A shame about the cafe job but sometimes that's what happens I guess. A friend of mine just turned down a really promising job because management seems to just be too all over the place.

Oh wow it's been a while since i heard someone say that it's probably more important to deal with your feelings and how you are going at the moment. That's really good. Nice one 🙂

James

[Mia001]

Hi James,

The short stories sound good... but frustrating! I like short stories when I don't have a lot of time to read.

I just feel that if I can't manage my emotions, anxiety, thoughts etc, I won't be able to work or at least perform well in my role. Currently my mental state isn't very good at all so it has to take priority.

Talk later,

Mia

[Guest_128]

Hi there Mia,

Dropping by to see how you are, you sound a little flustered, you know I'm not good at technology so if you are really bad ,please let me know at my thread me,ok.

I am sorry I am awkward,and can't remember everything.

But you do know I have a soft spot for you.

Cheer up chook, your a good soul.

Dory 🌻

[Mia001]

Hi Dory,

Thanks for replying. It's okay that you don't remember everything. 😊 Even a simple message means a lot.

Mia 🌺